The Tale of Ravage
by Nevra Black
Summary: Meet Ravage. A Decepticon Black Ops Agent; daughter of Soundwave; friend to a few lucky(?) Cybertronians; Cat. Basically stuck as a cat. Kills things. You know. Normal teen things. Prime:Verse. Pre:Tfp. Femme:Ravage
1. Point of Origin

**This is my take on a Ravage-centric story, about her in general before Soundwave went to Earth and why some of the cassettes aren't in Prime. I love my Decepti-Kitty, so please be nice to her. This is my first time writing in her perspective, ever, and I did try hard to make it as feline, teen aged and spy-like as possible. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

My name is Ravage.

I'm the daughter of the Decepticon Spymaster, Soundwave. I'm not an only child, like most Cybertronians. I have a sister, Laserbeak, and I had brothers, too, once. But then the war happened, and my creator, Soundwave, joined the Decepticons under the Gladiator Megatronus. Of course, I was the oldest, and most reliable. I was my father's most mature child. But I was discriminated against by the other soldiers.

You see, I have three strikes against me. One, I can't take my bipedal form, because of experiments done to my carrier while he carried me. He hadn't been doing well, back then. He'd volunteered for the money, unaware he was sparked. Soundwave's frame type can create life alone, and he had been trying. However, he'd been failing, so why would he expect that he'd have me?

The second strike is another by-product of those experiments, one that resulted in me being a techno-organic. I'm feline in shape, and smaller than the soldiers, my father, the enemy. But I'm built tough, and faster than they are. Except my father. We're both graceful, in my opinion.

The third strike is that I'm a spy. I was bred to spy, built to creep and hide and learn the darkest secrets of any and all.

I wasn't welcome around the mechs. My father was my only companion until the twins were sparked. That was in the early days of the Decepticon cause, before Megatronus became Megatron. I took care of Frenzy and Rumble while Soundwave worked, though I hadn't a clue what his job was yet, really. I knew that Rumble and Frenzy were different, not like me. They were normal little mechs, sparklings that were only smaller than normal. They were the product of a fling my father had had while undercover, before he donned the Symbiote armour and visor he became notorious for. I loved them dearly, and protected the two little hellions, but it was only a matter of time before I had to join Soundwave in the field.

It was on one of my training missions that we first saw the black and white Polyhexian. I'd snuck into the Autobot base, and I glimpsed him through the vent grate. I was fascinated, and asked my father over our bond who he was.

"That's the Autobot spymaster, Jazz. Be careful, Ravage. He's dangerous."

"I am always careful, Father."

"He's more dangerous than normal. Come back, before he sees you."

I crept away, and didn't see Jazz again for a while. Meanwhile, there was a lull in activity. My father attempted to spark again, and that resulted in Laserbeak. Whatever had been done to him, it had affected his ability to self spark so that the sparkling would be 'deformed'. Not only did she look abnormal, she was mute. However, my beautiful sister and I discovered we could merge together. It was quite by accident, and I'd forgotten how we even decided to try. But when our frames combined, Laser and I could fly, prowl and spy way better than alone. This gave our father the idea to create the symbiote armour. Since we all had psychic powers to some extent, he decided we should create a psychic bond.

This was around the time I saw the Autobot, Jazz, again.

I'd not been doing well. I'd gotten to the point in my life when I just couldn't take being mocked for my disability. It wasn't my fault I was stuck as a feline all the time! So, I'd wandered off to an isolated part of the headquarters to mope, and get it together. You never showed weakness around the soldiers, and so when I needed to breakdown, I did it in peace.

But as I rounded the corner, I saw a familiar mech semi-conscious in one of the vents. He'd crawled in in such a way that anyone who wasn't paying attention wouldn't have seen him. But for one of his professional standing, it was shameful.

I crept over, until I was inches away. Then he pointed the blaster at me.

"Go awa'." He hissed.

"Not likely." I replied. "Jazz."

His optics shot open as he realised I was no Decepticon pet. He was badly hurt, probably in a run in with one of the new security measures. I could smell the energon on him.

"Wha' the Pit are you?" He breathed, full of the same kind of curiosity that Laser and I always inspired.

"Taking you to Soundwave, _spy!_" I told him. I was about to alert father when the spy's servo shot out.

"Wait." He said. He sounded desperate. Jazz, with his odd visor, still conveyed more emotions than most mechs I'd met. But from what I'd read, he was very good at manipulation, disguising his emotions as easily as Megatron gathered followers.

"Please." He whispered. "Ah'm jus' lookin' for someone."

"Oh. Would that be Megatron?" I asked, irritated.

"Prowl. Ah'm lookin' for Prowl." He said. "Ah gotta find him."

Now, I mentioned how I've got a bit of the psychic gift. And I could sense genuine fear and desperation in his spark and mind. He couldn't call for backup. This was practically a self made suicide mission to find this Prowl. I knew Jazz wouldn't be doing this without good reason. Risking not just his life. His job. His honour. Everything he had left.

Maybe it was stupid. But I wanted to help.

"Tell you what." I said, tail lashing. "I'll help you find Prowl. I'll help you get out. But I want you to help me."

"Wi' what?" He snapped. "Autobot plans? The location of Optimus Prime? Blueprints for weapons? Ah'll die first!"

"Your life should not be necessary." I told him. "All I want is for you to train me."

"What?" He asked, bewildered.

"I said, I want you to train me until I'm strong enough to-" I cut myself off. Don't spill your secrets! So I simply finished with. "Train me. And I'll help you get Prowl, and get you out of HQ."

"Soundwave-"

"Will not know of this." I replied. "I have ways of making him too busy to notice."

I contacted Frenzy and Rumble, and told them to go mess up the mess hall. Bring Laserbeak, too, and maybe aim for that creepy femme of Shockwave's, Airachnid, whatsit.

While the Terror Twins did their things, I helped Jazz up. As we walked through the halls, he suddenly said in a whisper. "So, who are you?"

"No one." I replied.

"Now, c'mon. Yah have a name, yes?"

"Of course."

"So wha' is it?"

"If you haven't figured out who I am by now, you'll never guess, I'm afraid." I stopped outside a room.

"Wha's wrong." He asked, tense and still in pain. I looked inside quickly, and saw the jailor was heavily involved with another mech in the corner. I grinned.

"Your Prowl should be this way." I told him. Suddenly, I whirled and dragged him down with a clang. The jailer came out, hot and flustered. He sneered when he saw me. "Oh. It's you."

"Hello, Sullenmug." I chirped. "Got myself an Autobot spy in need of containment. Be a dear and open the vault, would you?."

He went to open it, eager to get back to his lover. Jazz opened his mouth to protest, but I shoved my tail into it. "You wanted in? I"m getting you in. Shut up."

He mumbled darkly, but went along with my plan. "So." I said. "Here's the deal. I'll find Prowl for you. But only if you swear to the AllSpark that you'll keep your end of the deal. If you don't, we're done."

Jazz met my optics. "Fine."

"Good."

I hacked into the prisoner database, locating the one under the most security. Of course.

"Ah. _The_ Prowl. I'd heard he'd been captured." I walked past the injured Autobot. "You sure know how to pick them."

We walked through the cell blocks without event, and we stopped before the one containing Prowl.

Some Vehicon's were there, armed and sullen. I grinned.

"Now wha', kitty cat?" Asked Jazz.

"Wait here." I walked up to the mechs, and turned on the charm.

"Hello. Vehicon 7R3N7, isn't it?" I asked, purring.

"What's it to you?" Asked the one on the left brusquely. I smiled falsely.

"Soundwave wants to see you." I said with as much politeness as I could muster. Obviously, he hadn't been in the Cause very long, because he believed me. Once he left, Jazz and I made short work of the remaining trooper, and I wiped his processor.

"There's cameras." I told him. "You'd best let me check it out."

"Ah don't know about tha', kitty cat." He said. "Might try to double cross meh."

"Why, Jazzy." I exclaimed mockingly. "You wound me!"

I went ahead and snuck in, carefully deactivating my father's security measures. "All clear." I told him.

"Looks like Ah really do owe yah." He said in amusement, wincing a bit.

"Almost done, Jazzy." I told him. Then I opened the grid. We could see the Autobot lying inside. Evidently they'd being having some fun at his expense.

"Go get him." I said. "He looks pretty roughed up."

Jazz looked at me. "This is the hard part." He told me. "Yah might want to leave now."

I shrugged. "I've needed something to do. Life's surprisingly boring around here."

Jazz grinned back.

I watched as he helped the prisoner up. There was a kind of tenderness in the way he helped the tactician up. I saw the wounds on the Praxian's frame. "Shockwave." I hissed.

The tactitian was groggy. He looked down at me with glazed optics. "Friend of yours, Jazz?"

"Sure." Said Jazz. "So, how do we get out, kitty."

"We'll go up to the surface, my way. The Brain here might be a little worse for wear afterwards, but it's better than being one of Doctor Crazy-Aft's lab rats."

I have to wonder what exactly had gotten into me, that day. Maybe it was teenage rebellion, or maybe the hope I could just escape from the rule of the Decepticon's for a bit. Or maybe, but I doubt it, I felt compassion for the one called Jazz.

As I returned to my quarters that night, father was unhappy. Laser and the Twins had proven quite stressful, and that combined with the escape of Prowl, well. It wasn't good.

Shortly after, and quite unexpectedly, we welcomed Ratbat. We loved our little brother, and he began his training early. Mostly Laser and I helped, the Twins being trained by a friendly Vehicon friend of Soundwave's.

I also escaped often to train with Jazz.

The first night he contacted me, he still called me Kitty, but I knew he knew my real designation now. I think I surprised him. Neither of us asked about what the other was thinking that night. It didn't matter. But Jazz did try to help me when he realised what I wanted.

To be normal. To walk bipedal, and at least have that to flaunt before the mechs. To look enough like them, so as not to be a freak.

That, I think, is one of the ways Jazz and I connected. We were a little bit abnormal in our own ways. He, for example, loved the music of other cultures. Gave the appearance of being a party animal, but he was still held at arms length by most of his comrades because he was a spy. And then, he had fallen in love with a mech like Prowl.

Then, one day, I waited for Jazz, but he didn't come. Not 'til much later than usual. He seemed genuinely happy for a change.

"What did you do?" I demanded. He grinned painfully, and I realised he might have had too much highgrade the evening before.

"You're hungover." I chuckled. "Jazzy, Jazzy. You partied a little too hard, my mech."

"Yeah. Maybe." He plopped down next to me. "Oh, but Kitty Cat, was it worth it."  
I snickered. "You're acting like you hooked up with the One, last night."

His goofy silence jolted me around. "You didn't!"

"Ah did."

"Holy Frag." I gasped. "You and Prowl- He and you…!"

"Ah honestly am uncertain whether there was a damn thing holy about wha' we did, Kitty."

I stared, and he grinned.

"Holy Frag." I reiterated.

"Yah said tha' already." He told me. I smacked him with my tail.

"Aft."

"And proud."

We sat there a while longer. Then he said; "How goes yah're transformations?"

"I was bipedal all day, yesterday." I told him. "It hurt a lot to become this again, though."

Jazz shrugged. "It's like if organics break somethin', Kitty. It hurts to use it again for a long time afterwards."

I bowed my head. "I just wish I was stronger."

"Yah're plenty strong, Kitty." Said Jazz. "You jus' don't know what to do with it yet."

"You sound like my sister." I grumbled.  
"Better than yah brothers." He pointed out.

"Good point."

I saw Jazz less and less after that. The war kicked up. My father was forced by Megatron to put Ratbat into flight early to spy on an energon silo, and my brother was shot down by a sniper. My family didn't do well after that.

Frenzy and Rumble became more destructive. Rumble took it the hardest of the two, becoming bitter and withdrawn. Laserbeak developed a fear of flying alone, so father and I were always close to her.

When I came to practice looking miserable, Jazz already knew what had happened.

"Ah'm sorry, Ravage." He said gently.

"For what? It's our leaders' faults, not ours." I growled. "It's this Primus damned war. No child deserves to grow in this time."  
He petted my head soothingly. "I know yah're hurtin', Kitty. But the way yah'll feelin' right now is only goin' ta cause trouble unless yah rein it in."

"I don't care, Jazz. I can't do this anymore."

We didn't practice that day. Jazz was there to help me, and I began to wish this didn't have to be secret. I wished that I could have introduced him to my father, my brothers. That I could meet his 'Prowler', the Praxian. I never told Father anything, Jazz never told Prowl. We were the probably the only Decepticon and Autobot to become friends in centuries.

I finally met Prowl one day. The praxian was waiting at the side of my Polyhexian friend, and was stone faced, blue optics neutral.

"Jazz." I said carefully. "What's Prowl doing here?"

"He wanted ta meet yah." Jazz said awkwardly.

I caught some thoughts, and suddenly found myself giggling hysterically. "He thinks your cheating on him. With me!" I gasped out.

I caught myself, apologized and grinned. Jazz grinned back. "Told yah, Prowler."

Prowl glared. I smiled. "Tell him. It'll make him happy." I told my friend.

Jazz frowned a bit. "Kitty."

"I'll even leave." I said.

Jazz smiled. Visor flashing in amusement, he said. "It's a surprise for later."

I nodded, and we spent the afternoon with Prowler. I tried to turn bipedal, but it didn't work. When we parted ways, Jazz lingered for a few extra clicks.

"I'm happy for you, Jazz. Both of you."

He smiled. "Thank yah, Ravage." He said gently. He was about to leave when suddenly I found myself standing up, pieces shifting.

I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek plates against his chest. "Take care, Jazz."

He patted my helm gently. "Yah too, Kitty Cat."

I never saw him face to face again. I loved Jazz like my brothers, maybe a little more. But other things happened. I could have used Jazz's support many times, especially when I killed my first mech. Claws digging into armour and protoform, I wondered, was I killing a friend of Jazz's? A brother? Maybe Prowl's? The sparkling growing under Jazz's armour, would I kill it?

I spied, I killed. I protected my frontliner brothers from the sidelines, a shadow to terrify new recruits. But then the battle of Tyger Pax came. And my life began to spiral.

The Autobot called Ironhide came at my father, who was overseeing one of the gestalts. The twins were protecting him, while I picked off snipers. The twins detached from the symbiote armour, drills and hammers out.

Frenzy was the first to die, protecting my father's back. The breaking of the twin bond weakened Rumble, who was the next to die, killed by a soldier under Ironhide's command. I was there in time to watch my father go berserk, ripping a soldier in half. I was there in time to leap on Ironhide's back, snarling, claws out. I ripped into energon lines, only to be pulled off and hurled at Soundwave's chassis. We were both snarling mad now, circling the black mech savagely. Everything was a haze after that. I remember dragging the Autobot scout to Megatron, I remember killing and maiming. They'd killed my brothers. They deserved to die, too. They would all die.

Then, one day, I was in the field. I needed into an Autobot tactical station, and I was prepared to kill. Centuries of rage were being released in a very short time, rage against my leaders, father, enemies, comrades. Myself, for being what I am. Techno-organic. Crippled. Helpless.

For every strike against living metal, I imagined a bit of the sting vanishing. A bit of Ravage being fixed, even though it was as much a lie as everything else in my life.

But even as I snuffed a spark, I looked up and saw black and white paint, and I actually stopped mid swipe. Jazz!

But it wasn't. It was Prowl.

I froze. Prowl. Jazz's mate.

Please Primus. Please, not Prowl. I can't kill Prowl.

He looked at me, and I stared in terror. I could feel my father through our bond, asking what was wrong.

I intook air sharply, and I turned around, protocols warring with emotion. I could not kill Prowl. I fled, and hid in a ruined city. Father found me there, hiding under a berth, tossing a toy between my paws.

"Ravage."

I looked up. "I'm sorry. I failed."

My carrier knelt down, encircling me in his arms. He used his mind to speak, conveying emotions and images in a way a vocaliser couldn't. "Ravage. You're a young femme in a world full of horrors. No child should deal with what you have. Perhaps it is selfish of me, but while I am sorry to have exposed you to the darkness, I am not sorry to have had you, or any of the others. I am sorry that I have not been there, Ravage. And I am sorry you feel you must apologise to me."

I realised coolant was leaking from my optics. I nuzzled him, and he chuckled softly.

"Remember." He told me. "Things happen for a reason, my Ravage. You're destined for great things."

We returned to HQ a few hours later, and I felt different. By no means healed and whole, but now I had a sense of presence. As I snuck into the communications center, I smiled.

They did not deserve my emotions. But I knew who did.

I stole an intelligence datapad, lightly encrypted, and wrote on it.

_Jazzy, I'm risking being found to be a traitor. If you ever need me to protect your family, your Prime, anything. I am tired of being a pawn. Let me help. I owe you. I owe you all.-Kitty Cat. _

Then I crept up to Laserbeak's perch.

"Beaky." I said. "Would you help me deliver something?"

**The End(for now.)**

* * *

**Why for now? Well, it's sort of a set up for later writing, and a stand alone story in and of itself. What do you think? I have the sequel up, called 'Guilt'. Constructive criticism is welcome, and Ravage says she was not that angsty. What do you know, Cat? I talked to Laser and she corroborated the whole thing. **

**Don't glare at me.**

**Anyways, leave a review, please, while I go argue with that cat. Bye!  
**


	2. Equinox

_Iacon, roughly half a year into the upheaval. Megatronus has become quite bold in his activities, especially after the elevation of Orion Pax to Optimus Prime. Unbeknownst to the two rival leaders, two of their agents have become close friends, the Decepticon symbiote Ravage and the Autobot Special Ops Agent Jazz. Ravage herself has begun to have a reputation amongst the Autobots and their allies, a lethal shadow of which there is little information on as of yet. _

_Of late, Megatronus has had operatives in Iacon and other Autobot strongholds stealing valuable information on Autobot technology, strategies, and military stats. As of yet, only four have been apprehended out of an estimated thirty moles. _

* * *

The harsh white light fell upon the table in the morgue, breaking the cold shadows of the room sharply, white on cold, steely grey.

A tall, thin mech of pale, silver blue stood beside it, looking at the femme on the table with a tired sort of sadness before turning for the recorder beside him. His servo hovered over the table for a second as he processed the recorders absence, before he turned to look around the sterile, cold room, optics searching. He felt a chill, for he had thought he was alone, and there was no sign of anyone. Slowly turning back to the table, he came face to muzzle with a large cybertronian panther over the body of a mysterious femme found dead in an alley.

He stared in shock at the brilliant yellow optics and long savage fangs, frozen like an idiot.

"Equinox, I presume." The panther asked.

The mech nodded slowly. "And you're the Shadow they speak of. The one that works with those radicals."

"You've heard of me. How interesting." The cat spoke with a femmes voice, and it was eerie, as he realised her voice would sound comforting in any other circumstance, from another mouth, rather than the fanged feline one it belonged to. She gestured at the body, audials twitching. "You have something of ours."  
"I don't believe I do." Said Equinox. "I've got a body found murdered in the street with no I.D and no personal possessions to speak of."  
"Liar." Said the panther, with an unexpected undertone of humour. "You've got some serious bearings to lie to me, I'll give you that, Doctor, but it won't serve you well healthwise."  
"Your groups typical strong arm tactics don't scare me." Said Equinox. "I cannot in good conscience allow you to take this body out of this morgue."  
The panther stalked around the table towards him, optics gleaming in the light. "You've passed the point of conscience being allowed a say, Doctor." She purred. "Now, it's my turn."

* * *

Equinox woke up on his own autopsy table, tied down with cables and unable to move. Struggling, he looked around quickly for the panther, and the body she wanted to take. No sign of either.

"You're spark radiates fear, Doctor. I suppose mine would, too, were I you."  
A femme stepped into the light, lithe, purple, her optics brilliant yellow as she appeared at his side. So, she was beastformer. A curious but in hindsight not unexpected turn of events.

"Wh-what did you do with the body?" he asked quietly.

"I have taken her, so she might receive the proper send off she deserves when I return." The femme looked at him with curiosity. "I assume the Autobot already came to retrieve the data. A pity, Equinox, that you and I cannot do business."

"Are you going to kill me?" He asked bluntly.  
The femme stared at him coldly. "Maybe. You _might_ still be useful to our cause."  
"I doubt that, Decepticon. I know where my loyalties lie."

She nodded, and with a decidedly forced smile, said: "You think you do. They all do. Until one of my friends comes along and exploits your weakness. Maybe a mate, a child, a friend. No one's safe, really. You'd be surprised how quickly loyalties can change; quicker than I could slit your wrist cables." She circled him, and brushed his wrist with long elegant claws, smirking when he flinched.

Equinox stared at her, realising he was trapped, as the femme leaned in inches away from his face, denta bared. "You're an Autobot sympathizer, who gave away vital information to my enemies, and you're at my mercy. Your friends in the senate, and around in this great city, they won't save you even if they could. You're just a pawn like me." She cocked her head mockingly. "What should I do to you, Equinox? Kill you, or make you my master's slave?"

Equinox was quiet, his dark blue optics filled with both fear and defiance. "You people, think you're so dangerous. You're a group of terrorists and thugs. No one will ever truly follow Megatronus, and he'll never gain real power. Do what you will. Prove me right."  
The femme cupped the side of his face, and looked at him with an expression filled with mocking pity. "You naive fool. You think he'll never gain power, and he already has." Her words hung in the air. "Look around you, Equinox. How do you think I got in here? On the day your assistant was in an accident, one unexplained to you, and you were unexpectedly alone?" Her mouth turned up into a humourless grin, as she leaned down and whispered in his audial. "Hells opening up, and the Devourer's already won. We're just making it official."  
Equinox jerked away, staring at her with horror. "You, you're simply trying to scare me."  
"Yes, I am. You should be scared, Equinox." Said the panther femme. "Wake up, Equinox." She hissed. A claw suddenly raked into his cheek, deep and surgical. She raised her servo, circling his face with a clawtip, calculating. She froze abruptly, though, looking up to the door. Slowly, carefully, the femme raised her claws over his spark. She had to get rid of the witness, of course, and Equinox met her gaze in what he hoped was a fearless moment. She seemed to think, hesitating, claw ready to rip him open.

The panther withdrew, transforming suddenly into her feline form. Equinox stared at her with dumb shock, as she paused, bladed tail lashing restlessly. "Never, by any means, forget, Equinox, that we are dangerous just for the fact no one wants to recognize us." The Shadow hissed.

She turned away, just as there was a thud on the door. A mech burst in, a guard, who upon seeing the doctor tied to the table quickly called back up.

Equinox snapped back to where he'd seen the panther, but she was gone. The only souvenir of her visit, the cut so deep into his cheek plates the mech could feel it.

* * *

_Ten years Later_

The transport full of soldiers traveled across the desert swiftly, the sounds of combat echoing in the distance, muffled by the armour encasing them.

They were mostly young recruits, fresh from training, a few veterans sprinkled in, and some non-combatants.

A youth named Scale sat next to the medic, nervously tapping his pede as he looked around. He looked up at the tall, thin blue mech with curious optics, which fell on the scar underneath the older mech's optic, which stretched all the way down to his chin.

"Hey, Doc, how'd you get that beauty on your mug?"

The medic, who surprisingly was armed, didn't answer at first. After a minute, he looked down at the kid and said "A friendly reminder to be careful." He grumbled. He closed his optics, sitting back. "Just relax, kid. You'll get your share of hell soon enough."  
Scale shrugged. "If you say so, Doc." He glanced at the military grade pistol at the medics side. "You a combatant or a medic, Doc?"  
"Whatever I need to be. Now, shush, kid."  
There was silence in the transport as reality began to worm it's way in. Scale's tapping ceased, and he suddenly asked "Hey, Doc. You have anyone to go back for?"  
The medic was silent, as Scale went on, tapping his thigh armour now. "I got a sister. She's still a sparkling, cute little thing. She followed me everywhere."  
He fell silent again. It dragged on, and on.

Suddenly, an explosion rang out. The transport rocked, and the intercom came on. Something was said, but it was drowned by screaming metal, explosions and shouting as the transport was suddenly elevated, and then ripped in half. Scale awoke on the ground, thrown there by force and aching all over now, and saw Decepticons everywhere. The youth onlined his weapon, only for his wrist to be grabbed.

"C'mon!" Said Doc. "We don't have the time for heroics right now."

"But, the others-"

"Can handle themselves. If they survive, bully, if they don't, someone might as well. This a battle we can't win."  
Scale looked back to see a giant mech and a bunch of more normally proportioned soldiers swarming the Autobots. He turned to follow the medic into a series of rock walls, stumbling a bit as his pede gave out.

"I think I snapped something." Said the kid.

The medic paused a minute. "Can you still run?"  
"I think for a ways." Said Scale. "I think."  
The doc nodded. "Run as long as you can, then stop."

Everything seemed fine, Scale even catching up with the Doc, until the Decepticon appeared, leaping down from somewhere above the wall with a loud snarl. The Autobots froze in their tracks.

"She was right." The Con chuckled, crimson optics alight with perverse delight. This was a large mech, more muscle than Scale and the medic combined and big enough to smack them around easily. The medic moved in front of Scale, gun drawn, face grim.

"Two Autobots, all for me." He moved aggressively towards the duo, gun onlinned.

Movement on the ridge caught Scales optic, and he looked up suddenly. The Decepticon noticed, and looked up for just a second, wondering if he'd get more toys or trouble.

That second was all the medic needed to leap up and shoot the 'Con twice in the chest. The larger mech roared, seizing the medic in mid air and shaking him like a doll, even as a black shape lept from above the maze onto their foes back. Clearly in agony, the blue mech aimed the gun again, still being shaken violently. Another shot rang out, blinding the Decepticon, who dropped the medic and fell back, snarling as he collapsed.

The medic picked himself up, his hand transforming into a knife as he staggered towards the Decepticon. He stabbed his enemy in the spark, gasping, before whirling around to aim the gun at Scale, dark blue optics wild.

"Doc. What are you doing?" The youth asked, his voice trembling.

The medic was fast, getting between the growling, crouching cyberpanther and the young Autobot.

The panther suddenly straightened out, optics widening with surprise and dark amusement. "Equinox. Still wearing my reminder. I'm touched." She purred.  
"Hello, Ravage. Been a while." The Doc said a bit gruffly.  
"It has indeed, doctor. I see you no longer take us apart, but put us back together. War changes one, does it not?"  
Equinox tried to keep the gun trained on the femme, but the world, it was just wouldn't stop spinning. He fell quite suddenly, sending Scale scurrying. "Doc!" He cried, shaking the medic a bit. "Doc, c'mon, you can't do this.

A paw was placed gently on his arm. "Enough, kid. You'll only hurt him worse."  
Scale gaped, turning to look at the scarred, dusty purple panther skeptically. "You're a Decepticon." He said, implication heavy in that one word.  
"I am." Said the cat. "But he is a mech I hold great hopes for. Let me help, and then we can pretend this never happened, if that makes you more comfortable."

* * *

Equinox awoke, to see her sitting beside him, her yellow optics opened and staring.

"Your people are coming." She said, with a surprising softness.

"Are you turning yourself in?" Equinox asked. She smirked at the incredulous tone he used, tail swiping across the ground.

"Of course not. I was simply helping the child care for you." She seemed wistful. "So young, too young, for what he saw today. Poor spark."  
"Ravage-"  
"I like it when you use my name. It seems right that you know who I am, as much as I you." She said, standing slowly.  
"You, you were right, about Megatron. How were we so blind?"

The panther seemed to shrug. "You didn't want it to be true. Did you, doctor? But you knew all along. You kept the reminder." She stretched, gesturing to a half asleep Scale.

"Take care of him, eh, Equinox. He's a good kid."  
And she was gone.

Harsh white light hit the cave, and the search group came through, grabbing the two mechs within the cave, swiftly, efficiently.

The panther watched from safety, her glowing optics never leaving the hustle and bustle, until they were gone. Then, she turned quietly away, to return to her base.

* * *

_I've got a hole in my soul where you used to be_  
_ You're the thorn in my heart and you're killing me_  
_ I wish I could go back and do it all differently_  
_ I wish that I'd treated you differently_  
'_Cause now there's a hole in my soul where you used to be _

Apocalytica

* * *

**Happy New Years My Lovlies!**


	3. Guilt

_It has been about a week since Ravage first encountered the Autobot sympathizer Equinox in a mission to retrieve valuable documents from a dead source. Recently, the Decepticon spy was sent to an outpost in the sea of rust, where Ravage has begun to encounter certain demons. _

* * *

It was the middle of the night when I woke up. The room I shared with my sister was quiet, her sleeping chirps softly coming from within her nest.

I looked down at my paws. My claws were out, fresh cuts in my berth. I could still see that last face, the face of an Autobot mech who had refused to join Megatron's cause. It was contorted in agony as I watched, Shockwave's servos surgically cutting into his body.

I'd had to watch, had to watch his death. I could still hear his screams in my audials. I didn't even know his name. All I remember was his colour scheme, white, green and pale blue, and his optics. Full of terror, but determination. He'd never said anything to Shockwave. He'd had suicide protocols. The last thing I saw was his optics offlining, flickering as they met my own gaze as I sat at my father's side.

It was times like these that I really missed my Autobot. He'd been my only friend outside my sister, Laserbeak, for years, despite our different factions and his rivalry with my father. He'd kept me sane with his humour and his music. He was perhaps the greatest mech I'd ever met. Frankly, I'd been hoping to run into him on my trip to Iacon, even through business, but he'd been and gone by the time I tracked down that morgue. And it had been rumored he'd be at last night's mission, too, but again, no luck. I cringed, remembering last night.

I curled up miserably, trying not to look at the claw marks in my berth.

It took a few minutes for me to realise I was not going to sleep. So I crawled out of bed, padded to the door and crept to the communication room.

I was halfway there when I saw Steve the Vehicon and Breakdown. I hadn't known Breakdown was back from his skirmishes near Polyhex, and it was surprising. I liked Breakdown, since he was friendly to the Vehicons like Steve and Trent, and treated us so called drones with respect. He paused the conversation and smiled goofily at me.

"Hey Ravage."

I nodded curtly to him. "Breakdown." I didn't particularly feel like talking, but he seemed to be in a conversational mood. I smelled the reason as soon as I was in front of him. He was drunk.

"Heard about your mission to the Sea of Rust." The blue mech said, even as Steve sighed. I chuckled.

"How do you know about that?" I asked, curiously.

Breakdown shrugged. "I talked to one of the mechs on your team in the mess."

"That a fact?" I looked away. "That's very nice Breakdown, but I can't talk about it."

Steve looked at me quickly. Breakdown also noted the tension in my tone even under the influence of high grade, but I quickly got myself under control. Breakdown frowned, but didn't say anything. He moved on his unsteady way, and I gratefully fled to the room I'd practically grown up in.

The mechs within were almost all new, the others moved, reassigned or dead. Mainly dead.

I walked over to my corner, where there was a grimy window, and curled up on the ledge. Outside, I could see troops coming and going, sometimes the big players. One of the trines, a rogue enforcer called Barricade, who I hadn't met yet, and Airachnid the Psycho Femme.

I could also see the ruins of Cybertron. I bowed my head, and watched. Wondered how Jazz and Prowl were doing. Wondered about the sparkling I'd sensed the last time I'd seen my friend, if it had been a mech or femme, if it had been healthy. I couldn't see Jazz without endangering the sparkling, but I liked to think they were finding some peace and quiet somehow.

Sighing, I curled up and fell into recharge to the soothing sound of computer monitors and sound bytes.

I woke up to the disapproving visor of my father. I looked up blearily, and groaned. "Uhg. Did I fall asleep in the comms room again?"

:Yup!: Said Laser's mental voice. She was resting on our carrier's chest, hooked into the symbiote armour. I got up, looking at my chronometer as I did.

Oh goody. I'd slept in.

I stretched and looked at Soundwave. He seemed concerned.

_"_Query: What bothers Ravage?" He asked in his monotone voice, the one that inexplicably made Laserbeak giggle. I sometimes had to wonder what was wrong with my sister's sense of humour, because it was very odd at times.

I shrugged. "Nothing, father." I lied.

He shook his head. "Ravage: Leaves room in the night, has stress on spark, pulse has fluctuated. Conclusion: Ravage is lying."

"I don't want to talk about it." I told him, brushing past him. Suddenly he grabbed me, lifted me up and walked out of the comm room. He walked all the way to our family quarters, past the other soldiers. Oh, he was so going to get a dead turbo rat in his berth that night, I was so unhappy with him.

When we were safely inside, he sat me on my berth and Laserbeak was asked to leave. She did so, hesitantly, but she did leave.

Soundwave towered over me, and I sighed. This was going to be one of those things.

My father's voice came into my processor. _"Alright."_ He said sternly. mission_"What happened on your ?"_

"Nothing." I repeated. "Nothing!"

"_Ravage! There's nothing wrong with telling me. I'm your carrier, not your captain."_

I looked at my paws. "Nothing happened. I infiltrated the base. I got the intel."

"_Is this about the mech you killed?"_ He asked, his thoughts conveying a curious emotion, a probing concern. I shied away from it.

"I've killed before. No problem. I did what I had to."

Soundwave chuckled. _"You honestly think I believe that, Ravage? I know you don't like killing. If you did, I'd be more than just worried. But you sleep in a room with Laserbeak. Did you think she wouldn't tell me about your nightterrors?"_

I shrugged, but kept my head bowed. "Hoped she wouldn't." I growled.

He patted my helm and sat down next to me. Finally, he said._ "Did you think I didn't notice you sneaking out?"_

My spark nearly shorted. I kept my face composed, though the discomfort could be felt through the bond. My father went on. _"I don't know what you did, Ravage, but whatever it was seemed to be helping you stay sane, and I'd welcome anything that did that. However, I would like to know what happened."_

"The war happened." I said softly. "I'm sorry, father. It's just that the mech I killed yesterday reminded me of someone."

I felt servo's on my back, and knew my father was comforting me.

"_Who did he remind you of?"_ He asked gently. It surprised me, as he hadn't been this parental to me since my first kill. Perhaps the fact I was so off guard was why I was so honest.

I looked miserably up at him. I wished I could tell him. About Jazz, about Prowl, about the strange pain I kept away from the bond every time I killed. The place I went to when I killed.

I looked up at my father, and said softly. "If I tell you who, will you tell Megatron?"

He seemed surprised, but he wasn't the Decepticon spymaster for nothing.

"_An Autobot."_ He said tiredly.

I nodded.

"_Who?"_ Soundwave asked. I switched to speak over the bond, not knowing who might overhear in HQ. Paranoia was rampant, and Megatron had gone behind my Father's back a few times.

"_You won't be angry, please?"_ I said quietly.

"_I can't promise that I won't be angry, but I trust you not to have given anything sensitive to the Autobot."_

He always said it with a certain amount of venom, the name of our enemies. I cringed, because my secret was not only that I was a traitor to the cause, I was a traitor to him.

I inhaled, and sent images over the bond, of finding Jazz in the vent, of our training sessions when he tried to help me get stronger, the two of us simply talking, Jazz smiling at me, comforting me after the death of Ratbat. Seeing the images in my mind caused the pain to return, especially now that I saw the mech I'd killed a day ago. He hadn't been Polyhexian. He hadn't even been the right frame type. But it had been the color scheme. Black and white paint, like Jazz's, or his mate's. I had easily seen that Autobot with a visor, talking to me about music or Polyhex.

As soon as it was gone, my father was silent, mulling over what he'd seen. I hadn't let him see anything about Prowl and Jazz's relationship, or the sparkling, and definitely not the note of treachery I'd left for my friend. I'd kept that from Soundwave. I looked up at him, up at my father, waiting for the inevitable.

"_So, now what?" _I asked, a little more subdued than usual.

He looked at me. _"Ravage. You have made some, interesting choices. And you have to deal with the consequences. But, I'm willing to do what I can for the nightmares, and the-"_

I cut him off. _"What can you do?"_

My father calmly stroked my helm. _"Processor wipe."_

"_Of what? Jazz?"_

He nodded.

"_Think about it."_ He said gently, getting up. He had to report to the Comm room now, ever the loyal Decepticon. He had Autobots to slaughter, just like me.

"_I won't force anything on you, Ravage."_ He told me. And then he left, graceful and deadly, a puppet master and a carrier. It was harder and harder to tell which, these days.

I curled up, checked my schedule and went to report for training. Passing by the reflective surface of the door, I saw the symbol on my shoulder, purple and as glaring as my feline form. Decepticon. Techno-organic. Traitor.

I could have my memories of Jazz removed and replaced with something less dangerous, more fitting for a loyal soldier.

But then, what would I be giving up? A friend, an anchor, a mech who loved music and never hurt me, or feared me for my so called deformity. Who I saw as a brother.

No. No processor wipe. I could cope, because I knew he was alive, and Prowl was too. And they knew I could help them, that I'd never hurt them on purpose. I smiled a little, and prowled down the halls to the training area.

The guilt would remain, but that was a good sign. As long as I felt guilt, I was the big sister to Frenzy, Rumble, and Ratbat. I would hate Shockwave, and Megatron, and other sparkless mechs, and love those who deserved it.

I wouldn't become like them.


	4. A Step onto a Different Path

_Two years and two months after Ravage and Jazz parted ways. Six months until the first encounter with Autobot sympathizer Equinox.  
_

* * *

I prowled down the hallway, claws clicking against the metal. The cannon fodder, or New Vehicons, as they were commonly called, stared at me as I passed, heading for my room.

I ignored them. When you look like me, you get used the gawking. Sleek, purple and silver, a bladed tail lashing behind me. Spines along my back, optics the colour of sulphur, claws that ripped armour off with the ease of death, fangs like knives. I was a sight.

A test tube freak, like them. Only difference was I was bestial in shape. And a traitor, but that's another heap of scraplets.

As I walked, I saw Barricade walking down the hall with Blackout, talking about something. I strained my audials to hear, being a bit behind base gossip.

"Oh, we'll have that scientist soon." The rogue enforcer was saying. "Mechs got weaknesses. Then we'll have all his information on energon rich planets."

Weaknesses. That meant family. A mate. A child.

My claws itched to rip through the enforcer's armour. I hated Barricade. He had a grudge against my friend that often had led to trouble. The friend? He's the reason I'm a traitor. His name's Jazz. He's an Autobot and my father's rival.

And Barricade was buddies with Pulsar. A strike that had nearly costs him his spark a few times. Pulsar was an unsteady mech with a rap sheet that included things like murder and rape, things that bothered me. Megatron must be getting desperate, but I was beyond caring.

I passed by the two mechs, audials back and spine arched. Barricade laughed as he noticed me.

"Aw, what's wrong kitty cat?"

I stopped, and my tail lashed. "What did you call me?"

Blackout backed up, having known me a little longer than Barricade. The tone I'd used was one rarely heard, but you'd better run if I used it. Barricade grinned, unaware or uncaring.

"Oh, did I offend you? I'm sorry." Then he dropped his voice, chuckling. "Kitty cat."

When he hit the ground, I savored the look of surprise on his face plates, the sound of my claws on his armour. I brought my mouth to his audials, making sure to scrape my fangs against his helm as I did.

"Name's Ravage, my mech. Call me Kitty, and you die. Understood?"

The mech struggled, only to get smacked across the mouth. He spat energon, and glared.

"Frag you, Organic!"

I growled, and he actually cringed. Blackout took one look at me and promptly went to find my father before I damaged the soldier too badly.

* * *

"Ravage: out of line. Soldier Barricade: near offline."

Soundwave glared at me. He wore his visor, of course, but I knew my father. He was mad.

"He shouldn't have pushed me." I growled. "The Slag sucker."

Oh. Should not have said that.

Soundwave glowered now. "Problem: Ravage behaving like spoiled sparkling. Solution: Guard duty."

"Father-" I began, only to stop. I sighed. "Fine."

He nodded. "Report to Cell block Zeta in six hours. Ravage: dismissed."

I didn't leave. Instead I looked up at him. "Who are they after now?"

My Father didn't move. Instead I felt frustration on his end of our family bond.

"Fine." I said, frustrated myself. "If that's how it's going to be." I prowled out of the communications room, practically steaming mad. He had been so difficult recently, at least, by his standards. I ducked through the halls, spark stinging.

I wondered if I could sneak out for a run later, and burn off some of my pent up energy.

* * *

When I saw the wounded shuttle, I nearly ripped into the mechs dragging him in. Shockwave was overseeing the whole thing, the one eyed mech monotone and logical. And as usual, cold and apathetic to his victims pain.

The shuttle was clutching something tightly in his arms, energon coating the small creature. A sparkling, I realised. A sparkling...

This was wrong. So wrong. I was frozen as they took the wailing child from its protector, Shockwave brutally knocking the larger mech out.

Then he saw me.

"Ravage. Take the sparkling to holding cell Zeta-30-4." He said flatly, already knowing I'd been assigned to guard duty.

It took all my effort to move and take the child in my mouth like a mother cat. I sent soothing thoughts to the little seekerlet, quickly dashing away, before Shockwave did something else to distress the little one, or saw my trembling frame. As soon as we far enough away from the horrible, horrible mechs I called comrades, I set him down.

He was frightened, blue optics wide and wings trembling. He reminded me of Laser in that moment.

"It's okay." I told him gently. "I'm Ravage. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Where's my papa? What will the bad mechs do to him?" He asked in a tremulous voice.

What do you tell a kid when his creator isn't likely to survive, and the child himself might be assimilated into the ranks of the murderers? I winced, wishing I was able to lie to little ones, just once..

"I don't know." I told him.

He shivered. He was seeker frame, white and crimson, optics Autobot blue. Small and delicate. He needed family, like all young things. Protection from the world.

He was lost.

I decided he'd not be in that cell long. "What's your name, little one?"

"Stardancer." He sniffed, looking up at me sadly.

I purred, and he seemed to like that. "Well, Stardancer, guess what?"

"What?"

I bent down and nuzzled him, letting him touch my audials and muzzle, letting him know he'd be safe with me. "You just made friends with the bad mechs worst nightmare."

He laughed and I curled my tail in satisfaction. I would help protect the sparkling. And I knew who would help.

* * *

"Ravage: Is going to get in trouble." Said Father.

"Yup." I replied. "But this kid needs to be protected. You and I both know Megatronus will probably hold on to the poor thing as leverage against the other creator. Since they were careless with the mate." I nearly choked on that last part.

Soundwave looked at the camera in the sparkling's cell. He was sleeping now, Laserbeak perched above him for company, Breakdown hovering outside, waiting for my return.

"Father, we can't let Megatronus hurt Stardancer."

My father sighed. "Ravage: sentimental."

"Soundwave: stalling." I told him.

"Fine." He said over our mental link. "But you had best figure out how to do this. This is your errand of mercy, not mine."

I grinned. "Thank you, father."

He nodded and patted my head gently. "Now, go and get Laserbeak. You're still supposed to be guarding Zeta block, not your sister and not Breakdown."

I pouted and left, grumbling all the way.

But I was still happy, because I could protect Stardancer, unlike my little brothers. Yes, you could probably say it was compensation or absolution for not saving my siblings. But in all honesty, I had found a path that until then hadn't really been visible, and a feeling surged through my spark as I entered that cell. I looked at Stardancer, innocent and untouched by my Father or Megatron's influence.

I was saving a life.


	5. Warrior

When I was a sparkling, when my father would train me, I didn't think much of it. It was Kaon. You had to be a fighter or a clever little bastard to survive. Father was a fighter. A gladiator in Megatronus' circle. And he made me a fighter too.

The first time I met the revolutionary known then as Megatronus, I was still very young. Father could still carry me in the crook of his arms. We were in our tiny apartment, and father had put me to bed. I didn't hear the door open, but I did hear a new voice; deeper, more gutteral than my parent's. I immediately didn't like it, especially when I heard my father's softer voice in between the newcomers speech.

I crept to the door, and peered out through the little crack that father always left for me. I saw my father first, standing by the counter with arms crossed. Megatronus, by the door, had to duck to fit in our apartment, his size intimidating, especially in my sparklinghood. He didn't have as heavy armour as he does now, but it was still more than father.

"-Finally making some progress in the East end. We should have another recruitment station within the next week." Megatron said.

"Good." Said father. "When are you going to need me out there again?"

"Soon." Said the gun metal grey mech. "Though I wonder if you're up to it after-"

"I'm fine, Megatronus." Father said, irritably. I crept a little closer, curious. Father had been hurt a few weeks ago, but I thought it had been in the pits. Maybe, he'd been doing something for this grey mech.

The larger mech smiled a little as he continued. "Of course, my friend. We also have a few more allies in Iacon." He paused suddenly, and looked towards my door, his brilliant sapphire optics landing on me.

"Soundwave. We have company."

As soon as he commented, I tensed up, terrified. Father glanced at me, and immediately, I felt trapped.

"Ravage. You should be in stasis." He stated.

"It's alright, Soundwave." The brute of a gladiator crouched down, optics never leaving mine. There was a strange intensity in his expression as though he were critiquing me in a test. "Ravage. Lets see you."

I approached, every relay screaming for me to just run back to my berth and hide.

Megatronus seemed amused and how hesitant I was, and pointed to my beautiful curved silver claws. "Do you know how to use those, little one?"

I nodded,looking at my parent, my carrier, for support. He seemed resigned.

"You've been training her, Soundwave?" Megatronus asked.

"Yes." Said father. He was uncomfortable with my involvement with this line of questions.

Megatronus returned his attention to me. "Do you know why your carrier is training you, little one?"

I shook my head, guessing correctly that my usual answer wouldn't satisfy this mech.

He smiled. "To make you a warrior, Ravage."

I stared at him, and spoke for the first time. "Why? To work for you, like father does?"

"No, Ravage. To work, _with_ me."

I sensed father coming up behind me, scooping me up, and carrying me to my room. He touched my helm gently.

"Father. He's scary."

"He's a great mech, Ravage. He's going to make this city safe for you."

I watched father leave, this time closing the door all the way. I couldn't understand everything going on in that room at that age, but I did remember those words. To make me a warrior.


	6. Simpler times

I met Starscream one particular day during one of father's little visits. As usual, I was dragged along, and was phenomenally unhappy as we stepped off the transport ship with a few other Decepticons and came face to face with perhaps the most arrogant mech I had ever seen.

Starscream was flanked by his trinemates, Thundercracker and Skywarp, who I was already familiar with from a previous meeting.

He looked at me with disdain, before bowing stiffly to Soundwave. "A pleasure to finally meet you, Soundwave. I have heard of your contributions to the Cause, and am interested in what you have planned for this facility."

My father didn't answer. He'd become more withdrawn at that time, ignoring me more and more. Since Lazer spent most of her time plugged into the symbiote armour, he couldn't ignore her, but I really liked my independence. Like now. I could watch Starscream dance around the implications of my father's visit with my own optics, and it was decidedly more amusing without submerging myself in the consciousnesses of my morose carrier and flighty, strange sister.

A subconscious prodding from my father indicated I was to act as his voice, again. I sighed internally.

"As you are aware, Starscream, there have security risks around here that Soundwave wishes to eliminate, now that your garrison has been seeing more action."

He looked surprised I spoke, his very emotive face conveying all the disgust and curiosity that waged through his spark. I bristled a little.  
"Of course, Soundwave." He said, deliberately addressing my father. "Would you like to go to your quarters, or join me in the office for the debriefing now?"

Father's voice came faintly over the bond. :The office. You're free to wander as you see fit.:

:Of course, father.: I replied, smirking. Like I needed his permission.

"Soundwave is more concerned about the security, Starscream." I told the seeker, dismissively. He growled, but nodded. "Alright. This way, then."  
As we followed the three seekers, I dropped behind. The two others in our party, vehicons I was not familiar with, didn't even blink. They knew what I was doing. They turned a corner, and I was gone, in my element.  
The base we were in was one I'd never been to before. It was small, a former science facility near the current front lines. Well maintained, I give them that. And the soldiers I saw drilling in the former gardens were smooth, efficient soldiers. The only problem was insuring mechs like Jazz couldn't get inside.

I perched on a ledge over the yard, mesmerized for the moment by the fighters. I soon got bored, though, and continued on.

Inside, there wasn't much interesting to find. I didn't feel like breaking into the barracks, and everywhere else was rather empty, making room for the instruments of war by removing the instruments of reason.  
Sighing, I paused near what could safely be assumed was our quarters.

"Well, this sucks." I grumbled aloud.  
That's when I saw the warning symbol on one of the doors. Curious, I walked over, and stared. Other than the symbol, it was a fairly normal looking door.  
Oh, this needed further exploration, my poor bored processor begged.  
You really know better, said my years of training.  
Whatever. I opened the door.

Inside was a little lab full of experiments and maps. A tank sat on a desk, containing a small insect like creature, and a welder lay next to some sort of metal heap.

Creeping further into the room, I could see a simple berth in the corner beside which lay a pile of data pads and a smaller desk with a lamp and- a holoprojector.

It was off when I entered the room, like many of the maps. Unlike the maps, it did not activate upon my entrance. I blinked, adjusting my optics to match the maps to some previously uploaded ones. How curious, most of them weren't occupied or even target planets. We tended to ignore the ones we had no use for, but here they were, clearly laid out and labeled.  
Samples of different things lay in little glass cases, and one caught my optic especially. A beautiful blue plant, growing in an artificial environment.  
How curious.

I looked around a little more, wondering who would live in an environment like this. I looked at the holoprojector, approaching it. Raised a paw, hesitated. Maybe I couldn't activate it. Sometimes, a word was required, or a combination of pressure points.  
I touched a button.

The picture flickered to life.

I froze, shocked to see three smiling familiar faces: Starscream, the shuttle I'd seen practically murdered years ago, and…. Stardancer.

The tear that leaked from my optic was almost unnoticed as I realised I needed to get out of there. And I did, seeking a quiet place to think about what I'd seen.

Crouched on the roof again, I wondered, should I tell him Stardancer was alive?

But then, I'd also have to tell Starscream about the death of his mate. And that Stardancer may as well be dead, after what my father did to him.  
I could feel him looking for me.  
And I ignored him for a good three hours. It wasn't until I saw Starscream going towards his rooms that I decided to move.

* * *

Starscream entered his room, groaning, annoyed and exhausted by Soundwave and his constant watching and silence. Primus, that creature gave off a wrong feeling, and that cat thing that trailed him- he'd been quite happy when it vanished.

He noticed the hologram and frowned. He always turned it off when he left his room. Why would it be on?

Thats when he heard a gentle clink outside his door.

The seeker bolted to the door, opening it quickly and peering out.

A small disk, a holoprojector, sat outside his door, next to a little piece of crystal. He picked them up warily, staring at them. He then carried it inside, placing it on the desk, then grabbing some tools to insure it was safe. Before he could, though, it flashed awake, showing a small video.

A femmes voice could be heard, light and amused, off screen. "Star, what've you got there?"

A small seekerlet looked up at the camera, making Starscream's spark stop. It couldn't be.

"A shiny rock." The seekerlet said earnestly. "Look, Kitty, it's perfect."

"Perfect for what, Star?"

The perfect little seeker frowned. "For you to give dad, when we find him." he said simply, holding it out to the recorder.

Long slender femme fingers came into view, taking the crystal gently. "Of course, Star. What else have you got there?"  
Starscream stopped the recording. He knew who was to blame for this.

* * *

Starscream found me the next morning, during my morning exercises. It was early, earlier even than when the soldiers trained. I noticed him, hovering off to the side, watching me. Assessing me.

I paused, retracting my claws, and met his gaze evenly. "Can I help you, Starscream?" I growled.

"Yes." He replied. "What were you doing in my quarters, drone?"

I blinked. "What the pit kind of question is that, Screamer?"  
"A simple one you should be able to answer. Why were you in my quarters?"

I could have continued to deny it. I almost did. Instead, I turned my back on him and began my stretches. "Why do you think?" I asked calmly.

"Soundwave sent you to spy on me."  
My barking laughter startled him, and I glanced at him over my shoulder. "Soundwave? He doesn't control me as much as you think. I went into your room because I wanted to know what was inside. Nothing more."

"And. What did you discover?"  
Oh. He was smart.  
"Why do you ask, Starscream? Something you don't want known?"  
He glared at me. "What did you find, Ravage!"

"Your past, Starscream." I replied, crouching on my haunches and examining the wiring and pistons in my paws. "And some answers I didn't expect."  
There was silence. Then, a quiet question. "Are they, alive?"

He thought I would tell him. He must have thought about this all night, and what parent and mate wouldn't? I couldn't look him in the optics, afraid of what I'd see there.  
Softly, I replied. "No."

Anguish, hidden quite well physically, emanated from his spark. He'd been dealing with it for years, dealing with the hope and despair of not knowing.

"I could be lying." I told him. I was, a little.

"Yes, you could." He replied, coldly. "That projection-"  
"Stardancer outlived Skyfire. Megatronus was trying to assimilate the child, but Star couldn't handle the initial training and indoctrination. It was a pity. He was a good kid."  
Starscream was subdued. I stood, and headed for the door.

"Ravage. My son knew you."  
"Yes." I replied, pausing mid-step. "He did. We were housed on the same base."

"How did you-"  
I interrupted him. "Starscream. This is dangerous to pursue. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

His arrogant voice was so quiet, I almost couldn't hear what he said.  
"Thank you." He said, before I left.

* * *

We left a few days later, father's business concluded. Getting on the ship, everything seemed normal. Starscream was back to his arrogant shrieking and annoying strut. He ignored me, seeming happy we were leaving. I wondered, just a little, if I should tell him the truth about his son. Was Stardancer better off dead, or as the new Decepticon warrior he'd become, alive but lost to the sparks that loved him?

I opted to board the ship, turning my back on the seeker and preparing to go home.

Laserbeak hovered over my head. :Ravage.: She chirped. :I was wondering if you found out anything about Starscream.:  
"Why do you ask, Laser?" I prowled on, away from father and the vehicons.

:He's been lookin' at you like you're the Destroyer incarnate. The last time I saw that, you had the dirt on Vinnie having an affair with an officer.:  
"Which I never used as anything other than a threat." I pointed out.

:He seemed terrified, Rav. I won't let father know, if you tell me.:

I shook my head. "No, Laser. I'm sorry, sweetspark, but I have my secrets, and I'm keeping most of them."  
Laserbeak seemed to pout, but was silent. I frowned, remembering when we could tell the other about those sort of things. Secrets were such little things then. But those were simpler times, I guess.


	7. Broken Bonds

I trust you.

Primus, those were the three dumbest words I'd ever said. Trust.

It's a failing of mine. I trust. Not easily. Not wholly, but just enough. Just enough to be betrayed.

Just enough to feel anger.

I walked through the ship, snarling. Where was my father? What was he doing? Removing the life and joy from a bright little mech I'd rescued, to replace it with loyalty and discipline to the cause. I'd dared to hope my carrier would help me save Stardancer. To entrust this sweet little mech to my fathers care had been too easy, perhaps I'd naively assumed he'd protect a sparkling rather than turn it into me. Then again, I existed. Perhaps my very position in life should have been my warning sign on my carriers choices, as well as the empty areas on the symbiote armour where my three brothers once connected.

As I raged, I nearly ran into the stations new medic, a narcissistic, unstable mech that was more madmech than lifesaver or healer.

"You. Medic." I snapped.

He looked surprised I'd addressed him, and a little offended. How dare I speak to him, I suppose.

"Yes, drone?" He sniffed.

"I'm seeking Soundwave. Do you know his location or do I need to search for someone competent?"

"The creepy quiet one? Air hanger. He's always there with a little seeker thing."

I growled and prowled on, ignoring him when he called "You're welcome." after me. I imagined his shiny red paint ripped beneath my claws, his precious buffer a pile of garbage on the floor, his face filled with terror and awe, and felt a little better.

This is what I was. But not Star. He would never become me.

* * *

My father was indeed in the hanger. Star wasn't there, currently sitting in mine and Laserbeaks room.

The ship was empty right now, a skeleton crew remaining as we prepared to land. I approached him on silent paws, sitting beside him and curling my tail around my legs.

"I thought I asked you to leave Star alone, father."

:Yes: He replied. :You did.:

"So why did he come into my room to tell me about the training you've been giving him? Terrified of the guns, and the noise, and those dummies... You had to realize those dummies would traumatize him, his carrier was practically an Autobot."

:Megatron was becoming suspicious. I had to act.:

"Don't you turn him into a Decepticon, father. It was one thing in the early days, but now- no one deserves this badge. Certainly not a sparkling who's an orphan thanks to our dear leader."

:Ravage. Watch what you say.: Said Soundwave. :I lost your brothers. If something happened to you, I'd never forgive myself.:

I resisted the urge to laugh, and look up at my father, at his visored face, and try to quell the bitter feelings I have for him.

I don't want to hate him.

I want to see the logic in his actions.

But then, I think of what I've had to do for him. The lives I've taken.

I growl, and turn to leave. "Stay away from Stardancer. I'm getting him out of here, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Soundwave was silent.

:Where will you take him, Ravage?:  
"I have contacts. Ones I should have gone to, instead of you. They would have protected him."  
:Or turned him into an Autobot soldier, rather than a Decepticon.: Father pointed out. I bristled.

"No. There are other paths-"

:No, Ravage. There aren't. Stardancer was brought here. Whether you like it or not, he will be trained as a soldier. Hopefully, I can prevent him from going into harms way and give him the tools to fight, but that is as far as-:  
"No! You fail to understand, Soundwave, what I'm saying. He is not being trained to be another weapon! He didn't sign up for this! He was snatched up! He still has a parent out there who probably thinks he's dead!"  
:Ravage! Keep your voice down, this place isn't secure!:

"Screw your security! I don't give a damn about your fragging, idiotic concerns! I can kill half this ship and make it look like someone else was responsible if I have to and we both know it! You aren't getting out of this as easy as that!"

:I have my reasons for this, Ravage. I am your parent and commanding officer and you shall respect me as such.:  
"I remember when those were two separate things. You are not my carrier. My carrier wouldn't continue to risk innocent lives after his own children were killed for his choices. Megatron and his slag got to you somehow, and it still does. He doesn't deserve your loyalty, and you don't deserve mine."

He was silent, until I reached the door.

:You'll understand, soon, Ravage.:

I growled. "I hope I never reach that point."

* * *

"Where is he!" I snarled, confronting Soundwave in the hallway the next day. I'd been awake all night, looking for Stardancer. When Laserbeak was unusually quiet, and acting guilty, I knew who was involved immediately. Father. Soundwave.

He was quiet, as other paused to watch the fight unfold. My denta were bared, and spines bristling. "What did you do, Soundwave?"

:What needed to be done. He and you were attached, Ravage, it was unhealthy. You-:

I stared at him, as he paused.

:Stardancer will never know the difference, Ravage.:

I felt my spark sink. "You let _him_ have a sparkling?" I gasped. "What in the pit were you thinking?!"  
:I'm doing what's best for you both.:

I paused, venting heavily. When I looked up again, he was still there, and I realised, I couldn't read him. He was blocking me.

I growled, before turning away, praying no one could see my shaking pedes or failing mask. He had hurt Stardance, and given him to fragging Shockwave for processor washing. A sparkling. An innocent, fragging kid I was responsible for.  
This was a new low for Soundwave. One I don't think I can forgive him for.

In fact, I know I can't. But that's fine.

Now, I know who can't be trusted, and can move accordingly.


	8. Breakdown

Friendship is a concept that… Bothers me. It's strange and nebulous, and full of uncertainty. I, as far back as I recall, have had very few sparks I'd name as friends. My siblings, of course, were my siblings. I loved them, but only Laserbeak came anywhere near being a friend. There was Jazz, of course, who I do indeed consider a friend and a trusted ally even years after I saw him last. And my other Autobots, Equinox and Scale. Scale was a promising young idiot with a starting grasp on basic survival (skepticism, distrust and vigilance) around a Decepticon of dangerous caliber and unknown motive, but he irritated me. He was not a friend, so much as that one bot I had grudging, beginning hopes for while I plotted to rip his spark out and throw it, casing and all, into a dinobots mouth just to shut him up. Equinox was just complicated.

But I had very little use for my own comrades. They quite happily bonded, laughing and jeering, messing around, often like overgrown sparklings, when not out shooting Autobots or Neutrals. Mostly, they avoided me, since I had a high kill count and a tendency to attack "friendlies" who irritated me. That, and I wasn't exactly normal looking. My feline form, with its many advantages, is off putting to many. It's not exactly cuddly.

So, when Breakdown started hanging around me when we were off duty, I at first wondered if he'd lost a bet to Blackout, Barricade or one of his other buddies.

He was surprisingly quiet at first, and he smiled a little at me. Oh, goody.

"How's the dread shadow today?" He asked, with a hint of friendly mockery.

I looked at him, unenthused and giving an impression of boredom. He shrugged, unphased. Breakdown was a former Autobot, a defector, but now a friendly, hardworking and loyal Decepticon. Hardly stand out personality wise for me, and not my first choice for a companion, as he was simply another rambunctious mech sent to haunt my down time.

When he spoke again, he said, "Y'know, I always thought Wave pulled off the silence shtick better. Doesn't suit you, Rav."

I raised a brow ridge. "Rav?" I asked, unsure about whether I liked this nickname coming from him. Probably didn't.

"There we go!" He said, loudly. "She speaks."

I rolled my optics. "What do you want, Breakdown?"

"Can't a mech just socialize with his fellow fighters, Rav?" He asked.

"Sure. Now answer the question or go away." I said.

"I thought you looked lonely." He said, still in that lightsparked tone that was simultaneously growing on me and grating on my nerves. I looked at him, and he returned it with a small smile. I didn't trust him. He seemed too friendly, too eager to be buddies. I snorted and got off my perch in the corner, tail lashing. "Why in the pit would my state of being be of any concern to a mech like you?" I inquired. "Last I heard, pity was an Autobot trait, Breakdown. Tread lightly." I left the room, leaving him there, to return to his likely amused friends.

I was prepped for battle, running my glossa quickly over my fangs, before hopping onto the deployer armour and connecting with Soundwave and Laserbeak. As we went over the plan, I realized I'd be partnered up with a warrior for this one, to act as my back up, once we hit the field. Not unusual, as I was a capable fighter one on one or in enclosed spaces, but outside of that I often had to have backup. Not that I liked it, though. Father sensed my irritability, knowing how much I hated having tagalongs who might slow me down. Who usually did. My siblings were capable of keeping up with me, but frontliners and other fighters could very rarely stay with me and usually end up dead.

I grumbled, and father shushed me while my sister tried to sooth my irritation. :you'll like him, Ravage!: she said, her tone assuring and sweet.

I deployed from the armour without acknowledging her, landing on the ground before heading off to my transport.

When I approached the terminal our transport was docked in, I brushed past a few mechs and glared daggers at a cluster. Barricade, Blackout, and Breakdown.

When the grey and blue mech walked towards me, I braced for the inevitable.

What I got was worse, as he said; "Howdy, partner." In the most obnoxious way possible.

I wanted to comm my father and curse at him for the entire ride. Fragging. Breakdown. Why, in the pit, was I given this idiot as a partner? Why not Brawl, or Crankcase? Someone capable and with a healthy respect for personal space and use of proper titles?

As Soundwave caught up, I glared at him, mouth twitching. He ignored me, and I fell in step behind him, swishing my tail as I passed Breakdown.

"Lucky ol' Breakdown!" Laughed Barricade, slapping his mates back with a grin. "A whole tour with that sparkless little critter skulking around."

"Eh, she's just a kid, 'Cade." I heard Breakdown say. "Cut her some slack."

I looked up at father, my voice low as I bared my denta. "I cannot begin to emphasis how annoyed I am." I growled.

"Soundwave: unconcerned." He replied. "Ravage: reconnect until dropzone."

I grudgingly attached to his back, joining his and Laserbeaks consciousnesses for the trip to the battle zone. Lasers flighty, strange presence brushed against the borders of my own thoughts, negating the calculating, increasingly distant one belonging to our Carrier.

:Breakdown's nice, Ravage.: said Laserbeak.

:Oh, yes, because when there are mortar rounds exploding around me and Ironhide is attacking me full throttle, I'm very worried about how nice my deadweight is.: I said.

:Why are you such a glitch, Ravage?:

Father's anger flared up, and Laserbeak flared up in return, challenging him.:What! It's true. She's cold and mean and acts like she's better than everyone. She's not our Ravage.:

:Damn right I'm not, Laserbeak.: I snarled.

:Enough, both of you. Ravage, you have your targets?:

:Yes.: I said.

:Good. Go update Breakdown and prep for drop.: Said Soundwave.

:Fine. Goodbye.: I deployed for the last time, shielding my spark from them. I stalked across the ship, and quietly sat down next to my unwanted partner, curling my tail around my legs as I vented. "Well, it seems I have not been pranked by anyone with this such, I expect you to understand, Breakdown, you will be acting as my muscle while I gather intelligence and eliminate threats. Your help should not be necessary, though."

"Good to know." He said, his tone irritatingly jovial. I faced front.

"I'll comm you the basic coordinates for our run. Expect them to evolve as we move along and gather intelligence. The information I was given is slightly stale, as our last operative in the area was offlined."

"Didn't he have a partner?" Breakdown asked.

"Of course. But usually, mechs like you struggle to keep up with ops agents. We need to have a certain skill set in our line of work that soldiers don't have. Its why we can kill your enemy counterparts." I said.

Breakdown grunted.

"When we get to the drop zone, you'll have to be quiet. They gave you the cloaking device, correct?"

"Yeah." He said.

"Good. They won't pick up your signature as long as it's on, so you'll have an advantage over any Autobots you come across. Just try and stay close to me, and you'll get out of this tour with your spark intact and limbs attached."

"I thought I was protecting you." Breakdown said. I snickered.

"Sabotage and assassination are my expertise, Breakdown. I'll be saving your aft more than you mine, of that I'm sure." I replied.

Breakdown crept along, gun at the ready. He was nervous right now, as he was in enemy territory with very little to work with. He imagined that, perhaps, he'd be more comfortable so long as he could see his enemies. Facing even Ultra Magnus was more appealing so long as he could see his foe.

:Ravage," He commed. :Been a bit since I last saw you.:

Silence.

This was fun. Oh, yeah, like being shot in the optic was fun. Or being stuck with a quiet, strange kid who was saying in matter of fact terms how she killed other mechs. It was frightening, how easily a practical sparkling spoke about snuffing sparks. And she probably had a higher kill count than he did, which was annoying and terrifying.

He stiffened, as he looked up. They were in an old city, the battle field nearby. This is where snipers were positioned, usually, as well as backup medical units and other spec ops agents.

Ravage's job, when not out assassinating high ranking autobots, and gathering intelligence, was eliminating threats in the shadows.

A bit of random debris fell from above, disturbed by something. Breakdown aimed his gun up, spark pulsing. What was that?

Where the pit was that panther?

I stalked behind the crouching Autobot, his optic looking through a scope as he watched for his next target. He was a slight mech. His colour scheme was that perfect grey for camouflage in most urban battlezones, and if I was any judge, I'd say he'd been in a few.

My servo gently touched the ground, claws quietly getting into the lethal position. He had a target, I could tell, by the way he was following something.

I waited. It wasn't long, though I was supremely disappointed. I'd hoped he'd have the awareness to protect himself from me.

He pulled the trigger.

As he did so, I sprang into action, slamming into his frame. He didn't even turn, and we slammed into the wall.

My triumph was quickly tampered by the terrible realisation we were falling. The wall he'd been perched by had crumbled as we'd hit it. I looked down, insuring I would land safely by reading the area around the fall zone. I noted movement. Another target. I insured I was prepared to fight, venting heavily.

I hit the ground as gracefully as I could, denta bared, tail spikes out. I paused, when Breakdown and I recognised the other. He seemed startled.

"What." I hissed.

"So much for quiet." he muttered, gesturing at the building. I grimaced.

"Slag happens." I said. I inspected my kill quickly for any extra goodies, at least, the bits of him not buried in rubble.

"You okay?" Breakdown asked.

"Yeah." I replied. "C'mon. We leave a kill as soon as possible."

Breakdown trailed behind me, obviously on edge. I smirked a little. He obviously was a confrontational mech, a warrior through and through.

I paused, withdrawing into the crumbling building behind me. Breakdown quickly followed, crouching next to me and looking around.

"What is it?" he whispered.

"That building, there. The Eastward balcony, with the intact door. I thought I saw movement."

Breakdown looked up, scanning the face of the building I'd indicated. "I don't see anything."

"Stay here." I said.

"Ravage!" He hissed. "I'm supposed to be watching your back."

"Okay, watch it for as long as you can before I'm gone." I replied, before carefully making my way to the back of our hideout. "And keep your head down if you want to keep it."

He cursed, but I was gone already. This was my element, creeping, leaping through the corpse of civilization, my optics always searching for abnormal flashes, audials for alien noise in the sounds of war. My claws clung to the metals of my world, helping me to stay atop the sometimes smooth surfaces I had to climb, trying to stay out of the way of unfriendly optics.

The building appeared to once have been a dwelling place full of apartments. Some of the floor was caved in in places, as was the walls. Burn marks marred the pieces of former lives, abandoned in the rush to escape war, hastily cast aside or simply forgotten. I stepped through the rubble, scanning for devices that might alert my potential target to my presence, checking for other mechs, or traps. This was the scary part, as this was part of uncharted territory; territory that could get 'Con's like me killed or captured or turned into a heap of crippled, mangled, helpless scrap. I would always remember going in to deal with loose ends who had been on the receiving end of a bomb of some kind. Maybe it was a typical heat explosion. Maybe it was an EMP bomb, or made from unstable Energon. Either way, if it went off, I was in slag.

And being found by a warrior or other Black Ops agent wasn't pretty either, given I was frankly at a disadvantage at that moment. I wouldn't have a strategy, and improv was always dicey no matter how good you are at it. And it'd be some serious improv here. I had a little advantage, since I could sense the presence of other mechs naturally, but by the time I did it'd be too late to do much other than employ a tactic in every spy, saboteur and assassin had in their playbook, and run as fast as my pistons could carry me, and hope I don't get shot.

Yeah. I really hate being shot. It hurts. I have a few other reasons, but mainly, it hurts.

I paused beside a partial wall, peering around a blind corner and froze. Jackpot.

Warrior, alone, bored. Obviously muscle for something or somebot. A big, bulky bronzey mech, with large shoulders and a big gun. I began to run through scenarios in my processor of taking him down. Should I take him alive and interrogate him? Or just off him? I need to get him further from his post. How?

I froze, as he seemed to lean back and speak through the partially opened door. "See anything?" He asked.

Someone said something from the other side of the door, and I strained to catch the words.

"-Big lunky idiot 'Con hunkered down. He's alone. Acts like he was waiting for something."

"Trying to be a hero or something?" The muscle asked. "Out here, away from his buddies, it's like taking potshots at turborats with these guys."

"I'm going to shoot him the next time he pops his head up." Said the assumed sniper.

"Why not see what he's doing first?"

"Why? Can't be anything good for our guys. Maybe he's the reason Charge hasn't reported in recently."

I backed up, looking around, then looked around the corner again. They were still talking. There was still a lot of hallway. And more rooms. All seemed to have a similar set up. I could work with this.

I quickly ran across the door.

"What was that?"

The other guy seemed to say something dismissive.

"Maybe you're right."

C'mon, you carrier fragging shiny. Follow the shadow, like idiot adversary you are. I decided to kick some rubble down a hole, then dodged into a room as it clattered loudly down the wreckage below. I waited patiently, then sensed an approaching body. I braced myself.

He entered. Gun out.

He had his back to my hiding place. It was almost too easy. I sighed internally, feeling bad about this one, until he whirled, looking right at my hiding place.

Slag.

"You, step out now, or I will shoot." He said, with quiet authority. How in the pit did he know I was-

Damn it, my tail was twitching. Honestly, I deserve to get shot for glitching so badly in a simple task.

I decided now was a good time to go bipedal.

I transformed before I emerged, servos up as I did so, praying he wouldn't shoot.

He held the gun on me, ready to comm my position in to his mate. I smirked.

"That isn't going to work, you know."

He snorted. "The last guy had a jammer, too. Its an interesting tool. I trust you won't mind if I use his on you."

"Not at all. I'm not using my comm, so its a pointless move on your part, but whatever helps you feel better I suppose.

He gestured for me to move. I sighed. "Why move out? My partner has already offed your buddy while you were chasing me. There's no point in going back. The Shadow will be here soon."

He froze, doubt crossing his features. Primus, he was easy.

All it took was a mention of my terrifying little alter ego and he was suddenly looking around the room at anything but me.

I took my chance, and suddenly grabbed his wrist, vaulting onto his back and digging my claws into some sensitive wiring in his neck.

My victim made an interesting noise, as he dropped his gun and tried to grab me with a suddenly less cooperative limb.

I leapt off, slamming my heel into his helm, and cartwheeling away from him. In the second I had my optics off him though, he had produced a smaller gun in his still functioning hand and aimed it at me. I froze, as he pulled the trigger. There was pain in my chest seams, and I hissed, lunging and lashing at him with claws. They connected in satisfying fashion with living metal, as pain clawed through my circuits.

I don't like guns. They annoy me, mainly because they are loud, and they tend to be pointed at me. But, I understand the benefits of using them, and when I noted his large dropped gun, I lurched for it, snarling as I turned it to face him, as he was trying to see through the optical lenses I'd just cracked.

Yeah, shooting a blinded foes a glitch move. But, I'm a glitch, and I like being alive and the guys who shoot me not being alive.

I shot him once. Still alive. Good.

I walked up to him, knelt down, and as I slit some vital areas and left him to die of energon loss, whispered quietly, "Your mate out there? Still alive as far as I know. But he isn't going to be for long, because you took your optics off the Shadow. You're both dead, and it's your fault for being an idiot. Pleasant dreams, Torrent." I hissed, using my gift for a final taunt, finishing up and then returning to my original goal.

The sniper was still there, overconfident bastard. He didn't even look up right away to insure it was his watchdog Torrent coming back, just assumed.

"Hey, he's still down there. I commed it in for Windrider, he's sending someone to deal with him. I heard shots. You get 'em-"

He had finally taken his optic off the scope and looked behind. I was standing in the door, leaning casually in bipedal form, the energon on my claws leaving little to the imagination as to what had occurred between myself and Torrent.

"Slickshot, right?" I growled.

He was a slight mech, but he already had that look of righteous Autobot indignation. Oh, please.

"Look, Autobot. I'm in pain. So, lets this make this fast, how many is Windrider sending?"

"I'm not telling you." He growled, going for his gun.

I was not in the mood for this, and I intended to make that abundantly clear, as I transformed down into my cat form, and began the fun part of any confrontation.

Breakdown crouched in the place Ravage had left him, watching the building with concern. Where was she? She'd been gone too long, and it had sounded like those shots had come from there, given their proximity.

He turned, wondering if it would be a good idea to look over the edge towards the supposed sniper spot again, or if he'd get shot. Breakdown was a fan of his head. He liked it where it was. But maybe it was a good idea to check on Ravage.

Or, he could deal with the sound of a cocking gun behind him.

"Gun away, Decepticon." Said a low femmes voice.

Breakdown reluctantly did as he was told.

"Turn around." She said.

Again, he obeyed, raising his servos, looking at his foes. A serious looking black and pink femme, a horned red mech with a cocky attitude, and a squat, odd yellow mech with an axe slung over his broad shoulders. Breakdown decided he didn't like the look of that axe.

"Cliff, cuff him." Said the femme.

"Sure thing, Gauntlet." The red mech said. "Just don't let him kill me."

"Primus forbid." Said the squat yellow mech, his suspicious little optics drilling into Breakdown. The former Wrecker felt very uncomfortable, as this axe wielding mech said. "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

"Come to think of it, I have the same feeling." Said Gauntlet.

"No." Breakdown said, wondering when Ravage would be back. "No idea."

"Is the Decepticon secured, Cliffjumper?"

"Yes. We're good to go, Gauntlet."

A flash of purple out of the corner of Breakdown's vision made him balk. "Look. I'm sorry, but I'm meeting a friend. It'd look bad if I left unexpectedly."

"Well, a funny bot." Snorted Yellow. "Ha ha."

Breakdown's optics narrowed. Please leave that one for me, Rav.

Gauntlet looked up, her pale blue optics wide. "Comms blocked."

Cliffjumper looked at Breakdown. "You do that?"

Breakdown shook his helm.

A lithe, graceful form stepped out from behind Squat and Yellow, yellow green optics gleaming evilly as it leapt beside Breakdown with a hiss.

"The Shadow!" Yelped Yellow.

"Sorry, the Comm block was me." I said. "There's enough of you fragging Autobots around here without inviting more."

"You aren't taking our prisoner." Snapped Gauntlet.

"Oh, but I am, Gauntlet." I replied coolly, walking easily behind Breakdown and playing with the cuffs. "And I'll take your life too, if that's alright." I peered tauntingly around his leg. "Not that you have a choice, now, do you?"

Gauntlet snarled. The squat mech held his axe at the ready, and Cliffjumper had his gun out.

The cuffs hit the ground.

I charged Gauntlet. She struck me as a rule follower, and I was not. Breakdown could keep the mechs busy for me, while I dealt with their boss.

Or mech, as Gauntlet yelled at Cliffjumper to go get help. Cliff quickly nodded, and zipped off. He was fast, I'd have to conclude this faster.

I kept Gauntlet turning in circles, backing her against a wall as my claws extended again. I growled, and she flinched a little.

"Oh, Gauntlet. Are you afraid?" I asked innocently. When I smirked, she snarled.

"Freak!"

"Names Ravage, actually." I laughed. "Easy mistake. I always use your names. It's respectful to send the dead off right. Swelter, Razortail, Charge, Torrent, Slickshot."

"Slickshot." Her spark was full of rage. "He was alive only twenty minutes ago! You-"

"Killed him and Torrent. Yes."

She charged at me.

Wow, it only took a few seconds to figure out how to defeat her. How has she lasted this long? She left her right side undefended and relied too much upon her speed and size without keeping in mind, going faster means you burn out sooner.

A falter. Perfect.

I caught her neck in my jaws, and bit down. Crunch.

She fell to the floor.

I turned to Breakdown's battle, went bipedal, withdrew the pistol I'd borrowed from Torrent, and shot at the squat mech. It startled both combatants as I ran towards them, shooting, again and again. I growled, tossing it aside in favour of my claws and heels, leaping into my enemies path.

"Hit him Breakdown!"

The hammer slammed into the Autobots body. I dodged out of the way, just in time to see Gauntlet sitting up, covered in energon, gun pointed at me.

As Breakdown finished up, I was shot for the second time that day.

I decided to make Gauntlet's death very painful, and leapt onto her. I didn't notice the knife she'd drawn until I'd slammed into her and she'd in turn forced it into my body. Instead of serving to kill me, it pissed me off. I felt it, don't get me wrong. But frankly, I was probably slightly angry at that point and the anger was what kept me going.

Claws into protoform and wiring, digging at the armour to get the spark that I wanted to snuff. Scratch that, I wanted to carefully, painfully remove it from this femmes chest and throw it in acid.

She might have stabbed me seriously once more, and nicked me a few other times, before I finally began to feel weak.

I staggered off of her, feeling my tank do strange things, and i collapsed, looking at the energon running down my legs.

Gauntlet was laughing. "You lose, Ravage!"

I bared my fangs, before I used the last of my strength and ripped out vital wiring from her neck. It hit the ground, and I fell down, chuckling. I ran some vitals, checking the punctures.

Nice.

Glitch. I didn't kill her enough. Shot me, and stabbed me.

A face appeared in my vision.

"Primus, Ravage. Hold still, this'll hurt."

I hissed, arching my back and growling, tail blades unsheathing with a threatening shink.

He finished with his repairs, and frowned. "Rav, are you-"

"No." I croaked.

He smiled a little. "Had me worried for a minute."

"It takes more than an Autobot nobody with the fighting skills of a glitchy sparkling to kill me." I hissed. "Just lost a bit of energon."

He gently helped me sit up, and offered me a cube of energon. I looked at him.

"I know it's not Medical Grade." He said.

"Are you giving me some of your energon rations?"

"Yeah."

I reached into my own subspace and withdrew some of my own rations. I smiled tiredly. "Thanks, but I'll use my own. I wouldn't want to deprive you."

He shrugged, and looked at our carnage.

"So, I killed one guy."

"And I killed four. Good haul. You comm Soundwave?"

"Yeah. While you were loopy." Breakdown reached over and stroked my helm. I stiffened at the casual action, and stared at him. He didn't stop.

"Breakdown, why are you touching me?"

"It's what you do to kids, Rav, when they're hurt. I figured a hug would be awkward."

"I'm not a kid, Breakdown."

"Sure you are. You were created near the start of the war. That makes you young." He shrugged. "I won't tell anyone, Rav, if occasionally you act your age. Or have fun. Whatever comes first."

I frowned. "Why do you care?"

He smiled sadly. "I got reasons, short stuff."

The laughter hurt. He was concerned when he heard it, and paused in the strange action. "What?"

"You kept up today." I said. I grinned slyly at him. "Good. Let's see how you do once I'm ship shape. Scores 4/1 in my favour, but I'll give you a chance to catch up."

"Oh, really? How generous."

"Sure, Break. A little spark snuffing, maybe I'll teach you some tricks so you're not a walking liability."

"I'm not the one who lost almost all her energon in a fight with a Autobot nobody."

"If anyone asks, she was Ultra Magnus's secret apprentice."

"Okay, Rav."

I realized I was smiling, actually smiling, at this mech. Oh, goody. Another life to feel guilty about.

But the cynical little voice vanished in the haze of a day well used, with a mech who was watching my back and patching me up after I was wounded and trying to make me feel less like a metal punching bag.

Friendship is a concept that bothers me, but, I think, I am beginning to, not understand it, but accept it. It's like creating family, without the bond of a spark. Finding bots you'd trust, and that'd trust you.

That you'd kill for.

Die for.

Betray your leader for.


	9. Turncoat

_The Cybertronian War is well on it's way. Soundwave is the master of Decepticon intelligence and has grown more distant from his daughter, the panther shaped techno organic Ravage._

_Ravage, too, has changed. Now a young adult, the young beastformer has begun to form a life and reputation of her own on both sides. Fuelled by bitter rage over her father's perceived betrayal and corruption of Stardancer, she has grown her own infamy, Ravage is becoming a bit of a rogue among her own sides ranks, and has begun sneaking out on her own to pursue her own way._

_Unfortunately, this means she doesn't have an army at her back._

-  
Ravage howled, her long augmented claws scraping the ground, tail lashing as she watched the bounty hunters milling around her cage. They watched her with an almost morbid curiosity; here she was, the Shadow, the Spy-Masters pet, captured.  
She didn't speak, too enraged for intelligent words. Besides, no words could convey her frustration and aggression as well as the snarling, savage incoherence she was using could. It was primal, and unadultured.  
"Ah, Ravage, good to see you're settling in nicely."  
Ravage didn't see who it was, didn't recognize the voice, and honestly couldn't care. The mech was dead, his cronies were dead, names didn't matter when you were in little bitty pieces on the floor, wall and ceiling. So the Panther snarled, her optics  
flashing.  
"Oh relax, Ravage. You needn't worry. You carry so much vital data, Megatron will pay up right away and you can go back to killing and maiming Autotwits. Won't that be lovely?"  
In that moment, Ravages first coherent words were heard, snarled and gutteral; "Frag you, glitch."  
Murmurs of interest, a few chuckles, an aura of excitement. She read it and hated it.  
She hated them all.

Turncoat walked into the room a few hours later, to watch his prize in solitude. No one had ever caught the dangerous symbiotic creature trapped in that room. No one knew anything about her really, other than her known kill count and allegiance. She was  
an enigma, a brutal ghost.  
He expected her to be pacing, snarling, when he entered the room, as she had before.  
Instead, Ravage was sitting in the middle of her cell, yellow optics on him as soon as he entered, like she was expecting him.  
"You have made a grave mistake, wretch." She purred, her voice calm and silky. "I am not a creature to trifle with."  
"Oh? What mistake, Ravage?" The leader asked, trying not to show how unnerved he was.  
It seemed like she smiled, but she didn't reply. Turncoat opened his mouth, but could say nothing more.

As he left, Ravage smirked again. Her pride was healed somewhat with the formulation of her plan; her captors evidently weren't aware she could transform into a bipedal form. The cell she was in was designed for her panther form, not her femme one.  
The spy looked up at one of the surveillance cameras, for just one moment, before going statue still. It was time to wait.

Turncoat awoke to the cries of wounded mechs.  
He raced out quickly, gun on lined, and saw her, crouched over one of his crew, fangs sunk into the mechs neck.  
She looked up, energon coating her mouth and face. What was more chilling was the fact she was bipedal. A femme, with pointed audials and yellow optics, who turned her gaze on Turncoat. A smile teased the corners of her mouth, and she stood up straight.  
"Captain Turncoat." She purred. "I was wondering if I'd have to hunt you down."  
She transformed down into her feline form, and moved towards the bounty hunter with sinister purpose, her fangs gleaming.  
"Ravage, be civilized. I -"  
He was cut off as two of his crew appeared, and charged the panther. Turncoat took his chance, and ran to safety, trying to ignore the hellish sounds behind him. Rending metal blended with cries of agony. The captain knew he had to tranquilize her. He  
couldn't afford to kill such a valuable prisoner, after all, especially one that had been caught through sheer dumb luck.  
He prayed for a little more time as he entered the vault.  
Turncoat grabbed the gun, closed the doors, and sighed. That was good. Some thick reinforced metals and alloys between him and the enraged murderous cat femme was a very good, welcome thing at this moment.  
Silence reigned.  
Turncoat relaxed.

Vents are wonderful things, one finds in years of spying. The careless rarely remember they exist, and how vulnerable they can make even the strongest.

A sound behind him made him whirl, to see the sleek panther drop from the ceiling. She was not smiling. Her tail blades were out, claws full length, spine arched elegantly. "Hello." She purred.  
"Ravage." Turncoat turned the barrel towards her. "Get away. Get back!"  
"Scared, captain?" She inquired. "Good. I'd be disappointed otherwise."  
The mech shot, but missed as she glided out of its way. Her creepy optics never left his face, as she crept towards him, every piston, wire and cable fluid and graceful as any predators.  
Turncoat shot and shot and shot.  
And missed, as she got closer.  
With a growl, Ravage lept. Turncoat grabbed her in midair, keeping her safely away from his vitals with a great deal of strain. She was surprisingly calm when he struck her. She fell back, raised a paw to wipe away the energon, and that's when Turncoat  
fully realized just how dangerous his foe was, as she snarled, and pounced again, the fires of hell in her optics.

The boarding party looked around the airlock.  
"Well, this is freaky." Said a green minibot, looking around.  
"Oh, do shut up, Scale." Growled a tall pale blue mech, scowling, gesturing for a few others to board.  
"You going to tell me you're not creeped out, Nox?" Scale demanded. "It's so quiet."  
"Yes."  
"Why?"  
The mech called Nox fixed his companion with a chilling glare. "Shut up or you might find out, Scale." He hissed.  
Scale rolled his optics, as one of the other mechs gestured at them. "Doc, Scale, we haven't got all cycle."  
They fell in, looking throughout the ship. Scale stayed behind Doc, looking about.  
"Hey, Nox." He whispered.  
"What?" The older mech growled.  
"Ever notice how creepy Cons make their ships?"  
Nox sighed.  
They found the bodies only a few minutes into their adventure. Energon splashed on the walls, parts strewn on the ground under the eerie lights.  
"Primus." Breathed one of the mechs. "What did this?"  
Nox bent over, examining a long, deep claw gouge in the wall. "I think they captured more than they could handle."  
"What,though, doc?"  
"Ah, that is the winning question." Said Nox. "But I can tell you one thing, it's not something you want to meet."  
"We need to know what can kill a whole ship full of armed mechs." One of their comrades said.  
Scale looked at his friend. "Something with a lot of time to do it."  
"It's still here." Said Doc. "Stay close together, cover each other's backs."  
"We can't cover enough ground like that."  
"We'll live." Doc said drily. "We need to head back to the station, now, and get back up."  
"No time. What if it gets on the station?"  
"We have the home advantage." Snapped Doc.  
A metallic sound echoed through the ship, like knives on a wall. Scale and a few others jumped, and Nox frowned.  
"We should move, now."  
A sudden growl. Clink clink clink on the floor, a flash of yellow at the end of the hall.  
"Slag." Nox breathed. "She's here."  
Scale's optics widened. "Aw, bolts. Not again."  
"What?" Inquired one of the others. "What's going on?"  
"Run. Now." Yelled Scale.  
And as they saw the feline shape slinking towards them, the others made up their minds. It was the Shadow. They didn't stand a chance.

Scale and Nox paused, their companions not even noticing their absences in their panic.  
Ravage also stopped, her optics flickering a bit.  
"It would be you, wouldn't it, Nox?" She chuckled.  
Scale and Nox both noticed her exhaustion, her scuffed paint and new scars.  
"They got you?" Nox said skeptically. "These Cons?"  
Ravage smiled bitterly. "It's been a rough week. And they aren't Cons. They're bounty hunters. And poor ones at that."  
"So you killed all of them?" Scale said with outrage.  
"Yes, I did." She said with a smirk. "Scum like that give us lowlifes bad reputations." She turned, limping towards another room.  
"Ravage, where are you going?" Nox demanded.  
"Away. Before your trigger happy friends get back."  
"You're practically scrap and you're trying to leave. I thought you were smarter than that, Ravage."  
"Equinox." She said, softly. "Relax. I've taken worse."  
"And you have a medic here-"  
She laughed. "Am I worth betraying your cause for, Nox?"  
"Was I worth yours?"  
"Oh, you think you're the only Autobot in my good graces. A bit egomaniacal, Nox."  
"She's got no cause except herself." Said Scale with a sniff. "Do you, Con?"  
Ravage was silent. Then she crouched, looking pained for only a moment. "Very astute, kid. I knew I liked you for a reason." She chuckled, before half walking half crawling across the floor. She was still trying to preserve her dignity, with her best  
posture, but her leg was damaged and nearly useless.  
"Ravage. Listen-"  
"No. I'm going to leave now. You're going to go lock up and be ready for a small group of very angry Decepticons arriving in this sector. And you're gonna hope I get far away from you when they come for me. Alright?"  
Nox nodded. "And if you shut down? Go into stasis?"  
"So be it." Said Ravage.  
"A bit young to be all mature, aren't you?" Scale snorted.  
Ravage didn't reply right away, but she did stop again. The lights flickered, shadows playing across her frame as she turned her head. Yellow green optics glowed malevolently between the blue of energon spatter, and her mouth opened a little in a morbid  
smile.  
"No." She replied simply. "Now do as you're told, Scale, and I won't build a cover story out of your sparking corpse."  
Scale growled, not noticing Equinox as the taller mech began to move towards Ravage. When he did, it was too late to grab his friend.  
The panther hissed aggressively at the Autobot's approach. "I said-"  
"Leave you alone?" Equinox grinned a little, kneeling beside her. "After I've dealt with that leg."  
Ravage stared at him. Gingerly, she sat down, and lifted up a clawed servo, pointing it at Equinox's chest plate.  
"You have a death wish, Autobot." Ravage growled, but she seemed to relax a little.

The room they chose to work in was hard to get at.  
Equinox almost purged his tanks at the carnage piled in front of the door, a macabre heap of twisted cybertronian metal and energon. It was almost hard to believe the femme he was helping had done this only a few hours before his party had boarded the  
ship. She was by no means a nice femme. Everything about her screamed danger, but Equinox couldn't equate the panther beside him with the savage carnage around them.  
They opened the door easily, a body holding it open. Ravage saw it, and seemed to become almost smug.  
Why are you helping her, Equinox asked himself. She just killed a ship full of mechs. And those are her most recent kills. He knew of others. He'd almost been one.  
"Like my handiwork, doctor?" Ravage hissed.  
Equinox looked at her. Her face was hard to read, strangely open, but it was false openness, like a mask. Not unusual in those engaged in espionage or black ops when they wanted something from you.  
Rather than say anything, Equinox grunted non committedly, and helped her onto the berth. He opened a medi box, rummaging through it as Scale joined them.  
Equinox didn't even look towards his young friend. "Where were you?" He asked.  
Scale looked oddly at Ravage, his cerulean optics narrowed. "Exploring."  
"On an enemy ship, alone. Good idea, Scale." Equinox grumbled, before mumbling over the disarray of the kit.  
Scale continued to stare at Ravage, approaching the femme slowly.  
"What?" Ravage demanded. "Do I offend your delicate Autobot morals?"  
Something flickered in the younger mech's face, as he stood closer to her than he ever had willingly. In a low whisper, the mini bot said eight words that could cause himself and Equinox danger.  
"I saw what you did to the Captain."  
Silence.  
The femme remained statue like, flecked with murder as Scale went on.  
"Did he deserve your special treatment, Ravage?" Scale never broke optic contact with the Decepticon.  
She didn't reply, even as Equinox returned to them, beginning his quick field repair. The femme watched Scale, still oddly relaxed.  
When she did speak, it startled the other two Cybertronians. "Yes." She said, in a way that seemed to suggest there was no other answer.  
Scale seemed surprised. No, shocked.  
"Scale? What's wrong?" Asked Equinox, looking up from his work.  
"He just saw some of my work, Equinox." She said softly. "Maybe he'll show you later."  
"She's a monster, Nox!" Snapped Scale. "You should see what she did to the ships captain! She tore him apart, while he was still alive! She, she was almost surgical about it."  
Equinox stood there. "How did you know he was still alive?"  
"Because he was just kicking it when I found him." Scale growled.  
"Really?" Ravage asked, with some genuine curiosity. "I've never left one alive after a session before."  
"Are you kidding me?" Scale growled. "You heinously murdered a mech!"  
"Yes, I did. You say it as though my actions shock you." Ravage replied. "I'm a Decepticon. I make no excuses for my actions. I chose to hurt him. And let me tell you, Scale, you'll do things far worse than that, I'll guarantee, before  
you're done this war. Maybe not as intimate, but evil is not a purely Decepticon construct."  
"You glitch!" Scale snarled.  
"Scale! Enough!" Equinox snapped.  
"Are you defending her?" The mini bot yelled incredulously.  
"No. I'm telling you to shut up." Equinox replied.

The noise was coming from one of the guard rooms.  
She had company.  
She couldn't leave.  
Not after what she'd done.

Ravage suddenly stiffened a little. It was almost imperceptible, as her body tensed. The mechs continued to argue, unaware of the sounds outside the room.  
A bounty hunter, one she'd missed. He was creeping through the door, his optics the only defining characteristic, violet, rather small.  
He and Ravage made optic contact, and he froze.  
The bounty hunter quickly read the room, and seemed surprised to see two Autobots. He listened, noting that they were helping her, or at least the tall blue one was. Good. He'll kill her allies like she'd killed his.  
He raised a blaster, pointing it at Equinox, the one defending her.  
Ravage's claws unsheathed with a single smooth schink.  
The bounty hunter pulled the trigger.  
Ravage couldn't get to him, but she could get Equinox.  
Equinox felt a weight on his body, and he hit the ground as he heard the shot. Stunned, he lost all sense of time and everything became surreal.  
Ravage pushed Equinox down, and snarled, tail spines out, fangs bared.  
The bounty hunter didn't even realise she was on top of him before she was there, his gun knocked out of his servo, a savage Decepticon black ops agent crouched on his frame, claws digging into his armour.  
Time slowed.  
The femme seemed to pause. Her words were soft, dangerous, her voice almost soothing.  
"Do not ever touch my Autobots." She growled.  
Then, her fangs sunk into his neck, ripping his head off with a shower of sparks and energon splatter.  
Equinox and Scale watched as the femme dispatched her kill, getting off of the body and spitting some pieces of armour and protoform onto the floor. Energon dripped from her mouth as she turned, genuine concern in her every move.  
"Are you alright?" She asked, walking over to the two mechs.  
They nodded, stunned.  
"Ravage." Scale murmured, unsure what to say and a little scared.  
"What?" The femme bristled.  
He was silent, cowed. It was one thing to see her handiwork. It was another to watch her kill.  
In fact, all three of them were silent, just awkwardly there. Ravage sighed at last. "Sorry I nearly got you killed. I should have made sure they were all dead."  
She said it to both of them, but was looking at Nox. "Y'know. I wonder sometimes, will I have to kill you someday? It might happen. The boss might be watching. I might be partnered with someone else I can't afford to off. Killings easier than it  
used to be. Then, I wonder if I could do it." She smiled ruefully at the two Autobots. "What do you think guys, should we just try to kill each other now and insure we never risk looking like traitors in front of our mates?"  
"Maybe you should join us, Rav." Said Nox. "Become an Autobot."  
She turned away. "If it were that easy, I'd have done it years ago, Equinox."  
"Yeah, Nox. She's an important 'Con, with important things to do. Why'd she want to join us Autobots?" Scale snorted.  
Ravage looked about to reply, when she froze and tensed up.  
"What. Did you miss another one?" Scale asked nervously.  
"You need to get onto your station, now." Ravage said, any friendliness gone. Her audials twitched, and she prowled out of the room, growling lowly.  
"What, is it the Decepticons?"  
"Of course it is." Said Nox. He frowned. "Ravage, will you be al-"  
"Can it, and scoot. Your helicopter antics have lost me enough valuable time as it is, you idiots are going to get killed or worse if you don't move now." Ravage was agitated. "Or else, I might just have to see whether I can kill you or  
not."

Soundwave stood next to his daughter as the medic finished patching her up, his masked optics boring into her with the unanswered questions between them.  
Ravage had expected this. It had happened nearly every time she'd pulled a stunt like this. She glanced up at him, while the medic, a mech named Crowbar, examined her wounds.  
"I must say, you did a good job with the field work. Very little work required, just update the splint and insure you're inactive for a day to insure the weld holds."  
"Of course." Ravage said calmly. She looked out of the corner of her optic at Soundwave, before hopping dismissivly from the table to leave the med bay.  
The slender spymaster followed her with a determined step. "Ravage. Explain."  
"What?" The panther asked. She didn't look at him, indicating her lack of interest in this conversation. "There's so many things I'd rather not explain right now, Soundwave. In fact, I'd rather go rest and let you puzzle out everything."  
"Ravage: Captured by Hunters."  
"Yeah."  
"Ravage: Suddenly does passable field repairs."  
"Yes."  
"Soundwave: Skeptical."  
"Good for Soundwave."  
He sighed, exasperated. "Note: Near to an Autobot outpost. Query: Did Ravage encounter enemy forces?"  
The indication hung pregnant in the air, heavy and obvious between the two.  
"If you're asking about Him, no, I didn't see him. You've seen more of him than I have." She said. "If you're asking whether I ran into anyone else I'm on non killing terms with, allow me to quite clear. Whether I did, or did not, is none  
of your business, Soundwave. I don't pry into who you waste your existence with. Return the favour for once."  
Her cold tone was cutting. Soundwave gave her credit, she was quite firm in what she wanted. He wasn't sure if he could protect her anymore, if he could understand her. This was Ravage. But she was so much more dangerous now than she had been.  
"Ravage: Taking unnecessary risks."  
Yellow optics blinked, and for a moment the mask slipped. Soundwave saw the uncertainty and fear inside the sleek predator he'd created. But quickly, the mask returned.  
"Likely, yes. But I don't care." There was a flicker of something, and suddenly she was speaking over the weak family bond.  
:You and Laserbeak are the only reason I haven't left.:  
Cold fear clenched Soundwave's spark. :You would join the Autobots?:  
:Maybe. I doubt I'd be welcome there. I've killed a lot of them. But really, anywhere would be better than here. Someday, father, you're going to turn around, and I'm going to be gone. And events today have possibly made sure that will happen sooner than  
either of us expected.:  
She flicked her tail, and prowled coldly away from him.  
He was silent, and he barely moved, grateful for the current emptiness of the area as he attempted to regain composure. They kept coming to blows more and more often.  
For a while, she'd sought him out for support. Told him things, shared secrets, acted as his voice, helped him play his games of smoke and mirrors. Then, something had happened. He supposed it was the autonomy of age, that she'd begun to see things and  
think about them for herself. Ravage had an opinion on how the world should be, and it was one tinged by the war they fought and the memories from before, when they had been a cohesive family unit rather than a walking talking spy cell. Whatever her  
thought process was, and he was never sure of that either any more, it had made him, her own carrier, the enemy.  
And, perhaps she was right, though Soundwave was loathe to admit it. But, despite her hostility and despite her choices, he still loved his daughter. Ravage had always been his strong right servo, the one child he counted on above all the others. The  
idea that she was considering leaving and putting herself in danger as a traitor hurt the part of his spark that already had three prematurely severed bonds. If anything happened to her, or to Laserbeak, he'd never forgive himself.  
But, what could he do? He'd trained Ravage, and if he knew anything about her, she could disappear and even he wouldn't be able to find her.  
And that offered no comfort to the Spymaster, especially after what he'd found on that ship. And the implication that she'd befriended yet another Autobot over top of that.  
He wondered for a moment if he could find her, and try to talk sense into her. It wasn't hard to imagine, though, how'd she'd react to that. He sighed, and decided to leave her alone.


	10. Rabid

I watched my children grow up, and every moment I questioned my choices.

I questioned having them. Never regretted it, though sometimes I thought I did. I always loved them.

I remember when I was short on money, and was desperate. I'd tried sparking for a while but given up on it, and volunteered for some experiments. I don't know how I couldn't have realised that I was sparked, and the things that it did to my first sparked daughter...

I've made my share of mistakes with them. More than. So very rarely does my kind of spark exist, and so very rarely do we have so many children of our own, a family we build of ourselves. And yet, here I was, blessed with five little sparks to care for, and i endanger them.

Many years have passed since I lost the mechs, living me with my femmes, my daughters. Laserbeak remains at my side; she is a loyal, sweet little thing, forgiving to a fault, and so innocent in nature. An innocent killer, and so very good at the espionage portion of our jobs. Despite what I've done, she still finds it within herself to love her carrier.

And then, there's Ravage.

Whats a mech to do when he looks at his own daughter, born from his spark, and sees nothing but hatred and rage? A ferocious, efficient killer of his own making?

I remember, when she joined me in the pits, a partner sometimes, then her own gladiatorial fights as a solo fighter. She trusted me then, was less cold. Her skills were high for her age, her light, Panther frame used to her advantage. She was so graceful. She earned income for the family with me and I was so proud of her.

Then, the war. I had my alliegences already. Megatronus was a fellow gladiator, an old friend, and a respected teacher. I quickly fell into his camp, with my skills as a fighter, and a saboteur.

My children came with me.

The twins were brute strength, backing me up as fighters, and later doing the same with their sisters. They were short for mechs, certainly, just a little older than the Scout that later haunted my daughters conscience, but they were fast.

Laserbeak was my intelligence gatherer, my little hacker and stalker. She took such pride in her work.

And Ravage was the assassin and sabatour. Her skill in murder was respectable even at a young age. But she did seem haunted, and I'd feel her guilt. I'd trained her to be a warrior, and she felt more like a weapon, or a tool.

I started losing her when, I later found out, she allied herself with my Autobot nemesis Jazz. He gave her attention I couldn't, helped her with a desire she later gave up on. Her bipedal form was a touchy topic, but one that he aided her with when I couldn't. Or wouldn't.

Then, we lost Frenzy, Rumble, and Ratbat. The forcible removal of our family members began to make Ravage bitter. Mutual mourning brought us together for a while, but as time went on, her emotions turned to blame. She blamed me for their deaths, me for her confusion, guilt and pain. She began to sink into darkness, torturing, killing and becoming more lethal. And when Stardancer came into our lives, the mistakes I made there haunt me. I allowed Ravage to become attached to the kid, fully aware of who's sparkling he was and what his fate would be. When, inevitably, I gave him to Shockwave for reprogramming it further vilified me towards one of the only sparks I loved most. She turned against me, refused to speak to me unless necessary, withdrew and hid in the silence we both cultivated as our masks.

She hid, and threw herself into her work with reckless abandon. I lost track of all the times Ravage would return to our base with wounds: energon dripping off her frame, scratched, dinged, sometimes limping, sometimes barely able to stand. She'd skulk off to the med bay, sometimes with the help of the mech called Breakdown, the only one she didn't lash out at. The bond between the two, I admit I envy if only for the fact that that is my daughter. The monster I've created.

I was shaken when she helped torture the Autobot scout so brutally. But while I knew she was capable of extreme acts of cruelty, having cleaned up after many of them, I never felt a greater sense than when, many years into our estrangment, I had to retrieve her from a bounty hunters ship.

She'd killed every mech on board, as far we found. A move that even I did not expect. And I'd seen her do horrifying things. Turn viciously on comrades, maim and brutalize targets, kill with so little hesitation. I remember, how once I had to comfort her when she killed.

I don't know if she takes pleasure in the kill. I hope not.

And that's not what worries me most. The commanders don't care if you give a few enemies a brutal death. If you bang up a few peers or underlings in a brawl.

It's Ravage's habit of making friends with Autobots.

It's the implication she gave to me that if she didn't feel obligated to stay with myself and Laserbeak, she'd have left the Decepticons. And the things she'd say, about how the badge had lost its meaning, how the cause had lost its way.

I'd feel a pain in my spark at the idea that i'd lose my eldest daughter to her madness. I tried to protect her. I tried so hard, and she's fighting it. Fighting me.

I failed them all, i suppose. And now, I'm in too deep, and I've brought my daughters with me.


End file.
